the nonpareil baker

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes with Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Buttercream

2012-03-04T23:21:00.002-08:00

9 truths and 3 lies about The Nonpareil Baker:

1. I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in my high school yearbook.

2. I've never colored my hair.

3. My middle name is Amanda.

4. When I was four years old, I was featured in the local newspaper by a photographer who was impressed when I walked up to the counter at Dairy Queen and ordered my own french fries.

5. My favorite cupcake flavor is chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream.

6. I can say the alphabet backward as quickly as I can say it forward.

7. I once tried to steal an extra toy from the reward box at the dentist's office because I couldn't decide which one I wanted.

8. I've never been skiing or snowboarding.

9. Stephen and I met while standing in line for a roller coaster.

10. My first name was inspired by one of the main characters from a popular 80's sitcom.

11. I was the editor-in-chief of my high school's newspaper.

12. These chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes are one of the best things I've ever eaten.

What am I lying about? Make your guesses in the comments!

(Hint: #12 is no lie.)

Bonus truth: During a recent bout of the stubbornness English bulldogs are known for, Charlie bit my finger. It's been swollen for three days... and yes, it's still hurting.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes
with Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Buttercream

Adapted from Tidy Mom and Bake at 350

For the cupcakes:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

3/4 cup brown sugar, packed

2 large eggs

1 & 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup whole milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup miniature chocolate chips

For the filling:

1 package ready-to-bake cookie dough, chilled

For the frosting:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons brown sugar, packed

8 ounces powdered sugar (about 2 cups)

1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon salt, to taste

1 & 1/2 tablespoons milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup miniature chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.

2. Make the cupcakes. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter for about 1 minute at medium speed. Add the brown sugar, and continue creaming until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes more. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each and scraping the sides of the bowl as needed.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a small liquid measuring cup, combine the milk and vanilla extract. With the mixer running at low speed, add the flour mixture to the butter-sugar mixture alternately with the milk. Once all the ingredients are incorporated, increase the speed to medium and beat for about 30 seconds. Stir in the chocolate chips.

4. Divide the batter evenly among the prepared muffin cups. Press about one tablespoon of ready-to-bake cookie dough into the center of each filled muffin cup. The package of cookie dough I bought had 24 portions that were about a tablespoon each, so I just used one unbaked cookie per cupcake. If your package of cookie dough is portioned differently, just divide it up into tablespoons yourself. Make sure the cookie dough is cold before you use it, otherwise it will bake inside the cupcake.

5. Bake the cupcakes for 16-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean. Cool completely on a wire rack before frosting.

6. While the cupcakes are cooling, make the frosting. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and brown sugar for about 1 minute at medium speed. Add the powdered sugar and salt, and mix at low speed until all of the sugar is incorporated. Add the milk and vanilla and mix for about 15 seconds more at low speed. Increase the speed to medium and beat for about 2 minutes, or until the frosting is light and fluffy. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Makes about 12 cupcakes.

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Cinnamon Sugar Soft Pretzels with Cream Cheese Frosting

2012-02-29T01:08:00.002-08:00

We need to talk about Twitter.

I really don't understand it. Like, at all.

I'm into Facebook. I get it. You post pithy status updates to show everyone how witty and intelligent you are. You upload carefully selected photos that showcase how great your life is. And most importantly, you stalk the profiles of people you never actually talk to in real life.

But what are you supposed to do on Twitter?

From what I've gathered, a lot of people are obsessed with it. And since I'm not one to disagree with the majority of the free world, I've tried to get into it at least three times.

I just... I can't. I see all the # and the @ and the links that have dots in the middle of words... and my head wants to explode.

I was trying to figure it out on Sunday during the Oscars and almost had a nervous breakdown. Especially since I no longer have cable and therefore couldn't actually watch the Oscars. It was like being blindfolded in a crowded room and only hearing every other word about what was happening.

Also... the "trending topics"? I checked that section out thinking it might shed some light on this whole ordeal, and I clicked the one that said "Justin is 17". It took me to a bunch of tweets about Justin Bieber's 18th birthday, and specifically about how "we only have 24 more hours of saying this" and reminding people to "retweet this because in 24 hours you won't be able to".

Really?!

Someone please explain all of this to me before it's too late. Otherwise I fear that I'll soon become one of those people who uses phrases like "the Facebook" and sends out emails claiming that Bill Gates will give you $1 for every person you forward it to.

Here's something I do understand: soft #pretzels brushed with melted #butter, sprinkled with #cinnamon #sugar, and dipped in #creamcheese #frosting. The first thing I said after I tried them was #theytastesopretzely!

@blogreaders Am I do.ing it right?

Cinnamon Sugar Soft Pretzels with Cream Cheese Frosting

Adapted from Baking Illustrated

For the pretzels:

1 teaspoon instant yeast

1/4 cup honey

1 teaspoon salt

3 cups bread flour

1 cup warm water, about 110°F

3 tablespoons baking soda

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

1/3 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

For the cream cheese frosting:

1/2 cup cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

2 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1 tablespoon whole milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the yeast, honey, salt, flour, and warm water. With the dough hook attachment, knead at low speed for 5-7 minutes or until the dough forms a smooth ball.

2. Transfer the dough to a large bowl coated with nonstick spray, and turn the dough to coat with the oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap, and allow the dough to rise for about 1 hour or until doubled in volume. Deflate the dough, re-cover it, and allow it to rise until doubled again, about 30 minutes.

3. While the dough is rising, preheat the oven to 450°F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and coat with nonstick spray. Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon, and pour the mixture into a shallow plate or pie pan.

4. Divide the dough into 12 equal portions. Roll each portion into a 20-inch long rope, and shape each rope into a pretzel. Place the pretzels on the prepared baking sheet.

5. Pour six cups of water into a 12-inch skillet, and add the 3 tablespoons of baking soda. Cover the mixture and bring it to a boil over high heat. Working with 3-4 pretzels at a time, use a slotted spoon to place the pretzels into the boiling water top-side down. Boil for 1 minute, flipping the pretzels over halfway through.

6. Remove the pretzels from the water with a slotted spoon, drain them well, and return them to the baking sheet. Bake for 12-16 minutes, or until golden brown. While the pretzels are still warm (but cool enough to handle), brush the tops with melted butter and dip the buttered side of each pretzel into the cinnamon sugar mixture.

7. To make the cream cheese frosting: In a small bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter with a hand mixer at medium speed for about 30 seconds. Add the powdered sugar, and mix at low speed until all of the sugar is incorporated. Add the milk and vanilla, and continue mixing at low speed about 30 seconds more. Scrape the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, then beat at medium speed for about 1 minute. When you're ready to serve the pretzels, warm the frosting in the microwave for about 30 seconds, or until heated through.

Makes about 12 pretzels.

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Coffeecake Muffins

2012-02-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

I've been keeping these from you.

I actually made them two weeks ago for my dad's birthday, but between the recipe contest I entered and Valentine's Day (the busiest day of the year at my job!), I haven't had a chance to share them until now.

I think I inherited my love of all things sweet from my dad. Growing up, my sister and I could always count on him to take us to 7-11 for a Slurpee and a candy bar or to bring us home fresh-baked doughnuts from the Safeway bakery when he came home from working the graveyard shift. To this day, I know that I'll always find Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts and at least one variety of Oreos in his pantry.

Most of my early memories of baking also involve my dad. We had the Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookie recipe taped to the inside of one of our cabinets, and at the time I thought it was a top secret recipe that my dad somehow managed to get his hands on. Each time he and I made those cookies together, he told me that we had to taste the dough after each step to make sure it tasted good.

Smart guy, if you ask me.

One thing my dad always had in the console of his car was a pack of those little Hostess coffee cakes, which is what inspired me to make these coffeecake muffins for his birthday.

I always expect a dramatic reaction when I make things like peanut butter chocolate chip peanut butter cup cookies or s'more brownies. But I've found that it's often the simple things that people love most. I dropped these muffins off at my parents' house on my dad's birthday, and when I met up with my family for dinner a few days later, they couldn't stop raving about them!

Make these muffins for someone you love. Who enjoys sweets as much as you do. Who has always been there for you. Whose opinion you trust in every situation. Someone who deserves a little treat to remind them of how much they're appreciated.

And make sure you taste the batter after each step.... just to be sure.

Coffeecake Muffins

Adapted from Baking Illustrated

1/2 cup pecans, coarsely chopped

1/4 cup brown sugar, packed

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened and cubed

1 & 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 cup sour cream

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners.

2. Whisk together the pecans, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the flour, granulated sugar, and salt.

3. Drop the cubes of butter evenly over the flour mixture, and whisk vigorously until the butter is evenly distributed and the butter pieces are about the size of oats. Measure out 1/2 cup of the butter-flour mixture and combine it with the brown sugar mixture to make the streusel. Measure out 3/4 cup of streusel to be used in the batter, and set the rest aside for the topping.

4. Add the baking powder and baking soda to the butter-flour mixture, and whisk to combine. Combine the sour cream, egg, and vanilla extract in a liquid measuring cup. Add the sour cream mixture to the butter-flour mixture and stir just until combined. Add 3/4 cup streusel to the batter, and stir until it's evenly distributed.

5. Divide the batter evenly between the 12 muffin cups and sprinkle about one tablespoon of streusel on top of each muffin. Bake for about 18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center muffin comes out with only a few crumbs attached, rotating the pan halfway through baking. Allow the muffins to cool in the tin for about two minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool slightly before serving.

If desired, top the muffins with a powdered sugar glaze. In a small bowl, whisk together 1 cup powdered sugar and 2 tablespoons water. Drizzle the glaze over each muffin in a zig-zag motion.

Makes about 12 muffins.

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Brown Sugar Blondies with M&M's

2012-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

While I'm busy decorating hundreds (thousands? millions?) of cupcakes today, I suggest you get busy making these blondies for your valentine!

Of course you don't have to cut them into hearts, but I highly recommend it.
Just make sure you don't let the scraps go to waste.

Brown Sugar Blondies with M&M's
Adapted from Baking Illustrated

1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 & 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
2 large eggs
1 & 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup plain m&m's

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a 13x9 inch pan with foil, letting the foil hang over the sides. Spray the foil with nonstick spray.

2. In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the brown sugar and melted butter. Add the eggs and vanilla, and whisk until smooth.

3. Fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients with a rubber spatula, mixing just until combined. Stir in the m&m's.

4. Spread the batter into an even layer in the prepared pan. Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until the top is shiny and cracked and the center is set. Cool completely before cutting.

Makes about 10 hearts or 16 bars.

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Girl Scout Cookie Recipe Contest: Tagalong-Stuffed Do-Si-Do Brownie Cups

2012-02-11T22:21:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited to share this recipe with you!

Yes, because it contains BOTH of my favorite Girl Scout Cookies.

Yes, because it involves brownies.

And yes, because it combines chocolate and peanut butter.

But mostly because it's my entry for the Girl Scouts of Western Washington Food Blogger Contest!

Although this is the first recipe contest I've ever entered, I can't help but think the odds are in my favor. Two different peanut butter cookies incorporated into a brownie cupcake? I almost feel bad for my competition.

Almost.

Just in case the stunning visual above hasn't swayed your allegiance my way, please allow me to describe what it is I've created:

It's a Do-Si-Do crust

topped with a Tagalong

covered in brownie batter

baked in the shape of a cupcake

drizzled with melted peanut butter chips.

In other words? Individual servings of perfection.

If I'm chosen as a finalist on February 16, my friends, family, and adoring fans will be able to vote for my recipe to win the grand prize!

Get excited, people! Big things are happening.

I know you must be dying to get in your kitchen and make these delicious treats, so I'm thrilled to tell you that Girl Scout cookies will be sold to the public from March 2-18! You can use the cookie locator to find out where cookie sales are happening near you, and there's also a free app available for download!

(I suggest you buy a few extra boxes when you go to make this recipe. You know, for taste testing purposes.)

Tagalong-Stuffed Do-Si-Do Brownie Cups

For the crust:

1 box Do-Si-Dos

1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted

For the filling:

12 Tagalongs

For the brownie:

1/3 cup cocoa powder

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons boiling water

2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons vegetable oil

2 large eggs + 2 large egg yolks

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 & 1/2 cups sugar

1 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon salt

For the garnish:

1/2 cup peanut butter chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Generously spray a 12-cup muffin tin with nonstick spray, line with paper liners, and spray the liners with nonstick spray.

2. Crush the Do-Si-Dos in a food processor, or by placing them in a resealable plastic bag and smashing them with a rolling pin. Transfer the crushed cookies to a medium bowl and pour the melted butter over them. Stir with a rubber spatula until all of the cookie crumbs are moistened.

3. Spoon about 1 & 1/2 tablespoons of cookie crumbs into each cup of the prepared muffin tin. Pack the crumbs into an even layer using the bottom of a small measuring cup. Place one Tagalong cookie on top of each crust.

4. Prepare the brownie batter:

In a large bowl, whisk together the cocoa powder and boiling water. Add the chopped unsweetened chocolate and whisk until it's melted. Whisk in the melted butter and vegetable oil.
To the chocolate mixture, add the eggs, yolks, and vanilla. Whisk until smooth. Add the sugar, and whisk until completely incorporated.
Gently fold in the flour and salt with a rubber spatula, just until combined.

5. Spoon about 2-3 tablespoons of brownie batter into each muffin cup. The batter should cover the Tagalong completely, and should fill each cup about 3/4 full.

6. Bake for 22-28 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the brownie layer comes out with only a few crumbs attached. Cool completely on a wire rack before removing the brownies from the pan.

7. Place the peanut butter chips in a small plastic storage bag and microwave for 20-30 seconds, or until melted. Snip off one corner of the bag and drizzle the melted chips over each brownie cup in a zig-zag motion.

Makes about 12 brownie cups.

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Chocolate-Glazed Eclairs

2012-02-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

I made these eclairs, and I can't think of a single thing to write about them.

Well, maybe a single thing.
I really, really liked them. I think you would like them too.
There. That's two things.

Boring, right? In a situation like this, I usually just rant about something or share a funny anecdote. But this time... I truly have nothing.

Please accept as evidence the topics I've taken into consideration so far:

How Not to Use the Word "Literally"
The Bank Teller Who Counted Like a Six-Year-Old, or The Time I Almost Stabbed Someone
Ben Flajnik as The Bachelor: WTF?
Pigs, Hippopotamuses, Elephant Seals, and Other Animals My Dog Resembles
Stories from My Childhood: The Time I Played in My Cat's "Sandbox"
Am I The Only One Who Thinks San Pellegrino Tastes Like Unsweetened Dr. Pepper?
Cargo Pants Tucked Into Short Ugg Boots: You're Doing It Wrong

As riveting as each of these topics would probably be, I think I'll just leave you with the recipe. If you ask me, eclairs would be the perfect treat to make for your valentine this year!

(That's three things! Yesss.)

Chocolate-Glazed Eclairs
Adapted from Baking Illustrated

For the pastry cream:

1 & 1/2 cups half & half
5 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon sugar, divided
pinch of salt
3 large egg yolks
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cubed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the pastry shells:

2 large eggs + 1 large egg white

5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cubed

2 tablespoons whole milk

6 tablespoons water

1 & 1/2 teaspoons sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

For the chocolate glaze:

3 tablespoons half & half
2 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Prepare the pastry cream:

Heat the half & half, 4 tablespoons sugar, and salt in a saucepan over medium heat until it reaches a simmer, stirring occasionally.
While the half & half mixture is heating, whisk together the egg yolks in a medium bowl. Add the remaining sugar (1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon) and cornstarch, and whisk until combined.
Once the half & half mixture is simmering, gradually whisk it into the egg mixture. Don't add the half & half all at once, or it may cook the eggs. Return the mixture to the saucepan and bring it back to a simmer, whisking constantly.
Once the mixture is thickened and glossy, remove it from the heat and whisk in the butter and vanilla. Transfer the pastry cream to a medium bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto the surface of the cream to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until set, about 2-3 hours.

2. Make the pastry shells:

Preheat the oven to 425°F. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a measuring cup, beat together the eggs and egg white. This should be about 1/2 cup; discard any excess.
In a small saucepan over medium heat, bring the butter, milk, water, sugar, and salt to a boil. Once the mixture is boiling, immediately remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the flour until the mixture clears the sides of the pan.
Return the saucepan to low heat and cook for about 3 minutes, or until the mixture is slightly shiny and looks like wet sand, stirring constantly.
Immediately transfer the mixture to the bowl of a stand mixer and beat for about 10 seconds to allow it to cool slightly. With the mixer running, add the eggs slowly in a steady stream. Once the eggs are incorporated, scrape the sides of the bowl, and continue mixing for about 30 seconds until the mixture becomes a thick, sticky paste.
Transfer the paste to a pastry bag fitted with a large round tip. Pipe the paste into eight strips about 5 inches long and 1 inch wide, spaced about 1 inch apart on the prepared baking sheet.
Bake the shells for 15 minutes without opening the oven door. Reduce the oven temperature to 375°F and continue to bake until golden brown and firm, about 6-10 minutes longer.
Remove the shells from the oven and cut a 3/4-inch slit in the top of each shell to release steam. Return the shells to the oven, turn off the heat, and prop the oven door open with the handle of a wooden spoon. Allow the shells to dry in the turned-off oven for about 45 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

3. Make the chocolate glaze:

Place the half & half and chocolate chips in a small microwave-safe bowl and heat in 30-second intervals until melted, stirring after each interval.
Add the powdered sugar, and whisk until smooth.

4. Assemble the eclairs:

Use a paring knife to cut around each pastry shell to remove the top third.
Spoon 3-4 tablespoons of pastry cream into each shell.
Place the top back on each shell, and press gently to secure.
Spoon 1-2 tablespoons of glaze onto each eclair, and spread it gently with the back of the spoon.

Serve within several hours. Makes about 8 eclairs.

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Cherry Chip Cupcakes with Cherry Vanilla Buttercream

2012-01-29T22:10:00.000-08:00

I've been craving cherry chip cake for almost nine years.

The first (and only) time I had cherry chip cake before this week was on Valentine's Day in 2003. I was in ninth grade.

One of the most popular classes available for ninth graders to take is Leadership. Its popularity can probably be attributed to the fact that it's the only class in which you get to ~~practice valuable leadership skills~~ do everything that's fun about school and very little actual work. Students in leadership get to do things like read the morning announcements, plan assemblies, and sell Otis Spunkmeyer cookies and one-button "espresso" drinks at the student store.

You know, real leader-y things.

My friend Sarah and I were in Leadership. But we didn't get to do everything that's fun about school. Ohhh no. Instead, we were chosen to work on a project called

The Digital Portfolio.

Those three words were a black cloud over our entire ninth grade year. Instead of making posters and coming up with ways to humiliate people in front of the entire school (which is apparently the purpose of most junior high assemblies), Sarah and I got to do a whole bunch of actual work. Things like typing and uploading pictures and talking to teachers during lunch.

By January, The Digital Portfolio had all but taken away our will to live. We needed to work on something else.

That something else turned out to be Valentine Grams.

Valentine Grams were a lot more fun than The Digital Portfolio. We got to spend fourth period calling flower shops and party stores. We got to sit in the lunchroom and take orders during the week leading up to Valentine's Day. We got to match up the construction paper hearts our classmates had filled out with the roses, carnations, balloons, and boxes of Sweethearts they had ordered.

It was a lot of work, but we didn't mind. We were finally getting to do everything that's fun about school.

Until Valentine's Day actually arrived.

And we realized that we hadn't asked anyone to help us pass out the hundreds of Valentine Grams, all of which had to be delivered during first period.

And we had to deal with seventh graders chasing us down, demanding to know why their secret crush didn't receive the carnation/balloon/disgusting chalk candy they ordered.

And we had balloons popping in our faces and thorny roses pricking us. All. day. long.

And we certainly weren't the recipients of any romantic Valentine's Day gestures we might have been hoping for, which is heartbreaking enough when you're fifteen. Even when you aren't spending your whole day delivering other people's valentines.

After that ridiculous day was finally over, Sarah came to my house. We ordered pizza and made cherry chip cake out of a box, topped with cherry chip frosting out of a can.

I can't speak for Sarah, but at that point it was just about the best cake I'd ever eaten.

Cherry Chip Cupcakes with Cherry Vanilla Buttercream
Adapted from Sprinkle Bakes

2 cups + 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, divided
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup whole milk
1/2 cup maraschino cherry juice
2 teaspoons almond extract

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 & 1/4 cups granulated sugar

10 ounce jar maraschino cherries, finely chopped
4 egg whites, beaten to stiff peaks

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 340°F. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together 2 cups flour, salt, and baking powder. In a liquid measuring cup, combine the milk, cherry juice, and almond extract.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter for about one minute at medium speed. Add the sugar and mix about one minute more. Add the flour mixture and the liquid mixture alternately, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Mix just until all ingredients are thoroughly combined, scraping the sides of the bowl as necessary.

4. In a small bowl, sprinkle 2 tablespoons of flour over the chopped cherries. Stir until the cherries are coated and have absorbed most of the flour. Stir the cherries into the batter.

5. Fold the beaten egg whites into the batter. Divide the batter evenly between the muffin cups; each cup should be about 2/3 full. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center cupcake comes out clean and the tops spring back when pressed gently. Cool completely before frosting.

Cherry Vanilla Buttercream

3/4 cup unsalted butter
3 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/2 tablespoons whole milk
1-2 tablespoons maraschino cherry juice, to taste

Directions:

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter for about one minute at medium speed. Add the powdered sugar and salt, and mix at low speed until the sugar is completely incorporated. Add the milk and cherry juice. Increase the speed to medium and beat for 1-2 minutes, or until light and fluffy.

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Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownies

2012-01-22T18:12:00.000-08:00

I made these brownies last Tuesday.

I wanted to tell you about them as soon as possible. Really. I wanted to tell you how easy they were to make. How they formed a perfectly thin and crackly crust on top. And how they tasted even more fudgy the second day.

But then it snowed.

Snow may be old news to most of the country, but we really can't handle it here in the Pacific Northwest. If people hear that there's even a chance of snow, you can bet they're in their cars on the way to the store to buy firewood, bottled water, matches, and rope.

On Wednesday, it snowed more than six inches. Which was followed by freezing rain. Which turned everything into ice. Which was followed by the power going out for two days.

In a word? Snowpocalypse.

And so it came to be that instead of telling you about triple chocolate fudge brownies, I was

not washing my hair for two days

sleeping in the fort Stephen built in our living room
charging my iPad at Safeway

sitting in the car outside of the AT&T store and stealing their wireless internet

watching hours of Prison Break on Netflix
judging all the people at Starbucks who were surfing the internet in their pajamas

But at least I had brownies, right?

Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownies
Adapted from Baking Illustrated

5 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter, cubed
3 tablespoons cocoa powder (natural or dutch-processed)
3 large eggs
1 & 1/4 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line an 8-inch square baking dish with foil and coat with nonstick spray.

2. Combine the semisweet chocolate, unsweetened chocolate, and butter in a small microwaveable bowl. Heat in the microwave in 30-second intervals until melted completely, stirring after each interval. Whisk in the cocoa powder, and set aside to cool slightly.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, vanilla, and salt until thoroughly combined. Add the warm chocolate mixture, and whisk until smooth. Stir in the flour with a rubber spatula just until combined.

4. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake 35-40 minutes, or until the brownies are slightly puffed, and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few sticky crumbs. Cool completely before cutting into squares.

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Marbled Peanut Butter Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

2012-01-11T21:20:00.000-08:00

This wasn't supposed to be cheesy. It just happened.

As I've mentioned before, I plan out what I'm going to bake each week a few months at a time. Partially because I want to make sure that I plan for upcoming holidays/birthdays/etc., but mostly because I'm just obsessive that way.

After the holidays were over, I was really looking forward to trying some recipes that had been put on the back burner during The Time of Baking Only Things That Involve Cinnamon Or Pumpkin.

I needed two things as soon as possible.

1. yellow cake with fudge frosting
2. anything with chocolate and peanut butter in it

As I was making these cookies, I was thinking about how I really should have made something to celebrate Stephen's and my six-year anniversary, which happens to be this week.

(Six years?! I'm guessing we'll be notified of our common law marriage any day now.)

And then I realized.

Two separate cookies rolled together into one cookie. What could be more perfect? Slash completely cheesy.

But the unintended timeliness is just a bonus. These cookies are incredible. Soft, chewy, and intensely flavorful.

The best peanut butter cookie I've ever had + the best double chocolate chip cookie I've ever had.

And combined? They're a perfect match.

...Awww.

Marbled Peanut Butter Double Chocolate Chip Cookies
Inspired by Bakergirl & Adapted from Baking Illustrated

For the double chocolate chip cookie dough:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup dutch-processed cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
28 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons instant coffee
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 & 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar

For the peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough:

2 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup peanut butter
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup dry-roasted salted peanuts, finely ground
1 & 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Make the double chocolate chip cookie dough:

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt.
Measure out 16 ounces of the chocolate chips (about 2 & 2/3 cups) into a microwaveable container. Melt the chocolate by microwaving in 30-second intervals, stirring after each interval.
Combine the eggs, vanilla, and instant coffee in a small bowl, and beat lightly with a fork.
Using a hand mixer, beat the butter at medium speed in a large bowl for about 1 minute. Add the sugars, and beat about one minute more. Gradually add the egg mixture and beat at low speed until fully incorporated into the butter and sugar.
Add the melted chocolate and beat at medium speed for about one minute. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix at low speed just until combined. Stir in the remaining 12 ounces of chocolate chips (about 2 cups) by hand.
Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let the dough stand at room temperature for about 30 minutes.

3. While the chocolate dough is resting, make the peanut butter chocolate chip dough:

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
Using a hand mixer, beat the butter at medium speed in a large bowl for about 1 minute. Add the sugars, and beat about two minutes more, or until light and fluffy.
Add the peanut butter and beat until incorporated. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Add the vanilla, and mix until combined.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix at low speed just until combined. Gently stir in the ground peanuts and chocolate chips by hand.

4. To make marbled cookies: Scoop each dough into 1-ounce balls (rounded tablespoons). Take one ball of each dough, press them together, and roll them gently into a large ball with your hands. Repeat with the remaining dough balls. Place the balls onto the prepared cookie sheets about three inches apart and bake for 14-16 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through. The cookies are done when the edges are set. The middles will look underbaked, but they will firm up as they cool. Cool the cookies on the baking sheets for about 10 minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely.

5. To bake each cookie dough separately: Scoop each dough into 1-ounce balls (rounded tablespoons). Place the balls onto the prepared baking sheets about two inches apart and bake for 10-12 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through. The cookies are done when the edges are set. The middles will look underbaked, but they will firm up as they cool. Cool the cookies on the baking sheets (the peanut butter cookies for about 5 minutes; the chocolate cookies for about 10 minutes) before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely.

Peanut butter dough makes about 55 cookies; chocolate dough makes about 60 cookies.

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Happy Birthday, 2012! Yellow Layer Cake with Fudge Frosting, Redux

2012-01-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

Hello, 2012. I made you a cake.

Maybe you recognize it? I made the same cake last year for 2011 and failed miserably. The top layer slid completely off the bottom layer and the frosting was full of crumbs.

But it was so good. The best yellow cake with chocolate frosting I've ever had.

Because that cake was such a failure, my 2011 new year's resolution was to successfully assemble and frost a layer cake. Which I did!

Since I wanted to make a birthday cake for the new year again, I thought... why not give last year's cake another try? I'm more experienced now, and I know how to avoid all the things that went wrong last time.

I failed miserably. Again.

I realize now that it's not really my fault. Fudge frosting just isn't the right consistency to hold a layer cake together. It is, however, the right consistency for this:

But?

It's still the best yellow cake I've ever eaten. And the fudge frosting? It tastes exactly like fudge. Ridiculous.

But just so you know...

This is not the kind of cake you slice into perfect, tiny wedges and serve on expensive crystal dessert plates at a fancy brunch. There are other cakes for those occasions.

This is the kind of cake you slice into however-big-you-want wedges and eat on your couch with a glass of milk,

the kind of cake you eat to celebrate buying a car for the first time (!!!),

and the kind of cake you give to your dad in a Pyrex dish that he can take to work.

In other words? This is my kind of cake.

Yellow Layer Cake
Adapted from Baking Illustrated

1 & 3/4 cups cake flour, sifted
4 eggs, at room temperature
1/2 cup whole milk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 & 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter, softened and cut into 16 pieces

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease two 9-inch round cake pans, line the bottoms with parchment paper, and grease the parchment paper. Dust the pans with flour.

2. Whisk together the eggs, milk, and vanilla in a small bowl. Measure out one cup of this mixture and set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.

3. Turn the mixer on at low speed and mix for about 30 seconds to blend the dry ingredients. With the mixer running, add the butter one piece at a time. Continue mixing until the butter and flour combine and form pea-sized lumps.

4. Add one cup of the egg mixture and continue mixing at low speed until incorporated. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat for about one minute. With the mixer running, add the remaining egg mixture very slowly, and mix until incorporated. Stop the mixer and scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl with a spatula. Beat the batter at medium-high speed for about 15 seconds more.

5. Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each layer comes out clean. Cool the cakes in the pans for 10 minutes before removing them to a wire rack to cool completely.

Note: If you plan to use fudge frosting for this cake, I suggest making it as a sheet cake instead of a layer cake. To do this, pour the batter into a greased and floured 9x13-inch pan. Since I haven't tried this myself, I don't know exactly how long it will take to bake. I would start at 20 minutes and then check it every 2-3 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. If you want to make a layer cake, I would suggest using a chocolate buttercream instead of the fudge frosting.

Fudge Frosting
Adapted from Betty Crocker's Cookbook: Heart Health Edition

2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup cocoa powder
1 cup milk
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla

Directions:

1. In a medium saucepan, whisk together the granulated sugar and cocoa powder. Add the milk, butter, corn syrup, and salt, and heat to a boil, stirring frequently. Boil for about three minutes, then remove the pan from the heat. Cool for 45 minutes.

2. Add the powdered sugar and vanilla to the cooled chocolate mixture, and whisk to combine.

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Best of The Nonpareil Baker 2011

2011-12-31T23:53:00.000-08:00

Statement of the obvious fact that 2011 is over.

Sentimental musings about what a great year it was and how quickly it passed (e.g., "It seems like just yesterday I was making Valentine's Day cookies!"), followed by a clichéd statement about my hopes for the new year. Ardent declaration of my new year's resolution(s) and/or why I'm not making any new year's resolutions.

Generic statement of my wish that the new year brings you happiness / prosperity / health / love / success / self-actualization.

Possible played-out joke about "seeing you next year."

...Alllright. Are we good with that? Can we move on to the most-viewed list now?

Because I can totally throw in some Auld Lang Syne lyrics if you want me to. I'll even italicize them.

No? Juuust checking.

1. Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Brownies

2. Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins

3. Chocolate Layer Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and Chocolate Buttercream

4. Pumpkin Maple Rolls

5. Funfetti Whoopie Pies

6. Double Chocolate Chip Muffins

7. Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins with Cinnamon Crumb Topping

8. Monster Cookies

9. Toffee Brownie Bites with Caramel Buttercream

10. Chewy Brownies

I had planned to make a separate list of my personal favorite recipes from the past year, but it turned out that several of them made the top ten. I knew I liked you guys!

Listed below (in no particular order) are six recipes that didn't quite make the cut, but absolutely could not be left out:

1. Lofthouse-Style Sugar Cookies

2. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles

3. The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever

4. Snickerdoodles with Cinnamon Buttercream

5. Cinna-Buns

6. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cup Cookies

And now if you'll excuse me, I must return to my new year's eve celebration.

Which, if you really want to know, mostly consists of drinking diet root beer, sitting next to a snoring bulldog, and witnessing the complete butchery of a beloved Beatles song by the most awkward pairing of performing artists ever conceived.

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Homemade Christmas Gifts

2011-12-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

So Christmas is over. Wah wah.

It's depressing, right? I mean, at least for me, the excitement has been building since I ordered my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the year back in September.

That either makes sense to you or it doesn't.

Also, can we just agree to ignore how troubling it is that I use Starbucks seasonal drink launches as points of reference in my life?

If I were a normal food blogger, I would probably be giving you ideas for New Year's Eve right now. But remember how I said in my last post that I had SOmany/seventobeexact recipes to share with you? Most of them are recipes for the homemade Christmas gifts I made this year.

And obbbviously I couldn't reveal those before Christmas, so I'm sharing them with you now!

For my coworkers, I made homemade hot cocoa mix and homemade marshmallows. This was my first experience using a candy thermometer (other than that one time I made doughnuts... and that other time too), and it was actually a lot less scary than I thought it would be. Anyone can do this!

For my sister, I made chocolate chip cookie dough truffles. They are decidedly one of the best things I've ever eaten.

Too bad they don't pair well with new year's resolutions.

For my mom, I made chocolate almond toffee. Also using a candy thermometer and also not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Butter and sugar do all the work.

For my dad, I made chocolate-covered buttercream cherries. They take at least a week to make, but they are so, so, SO much better than the ones you buy at the grocery store.

My dad specifically asked that no one give him chocolate-covered cherries for Christmas this year since he usually receives several boxes and can't eat them all. Being the dutiful child I am, I completely ignored his request and made them for him anyway. He was not disappointed.

I know I completely failed you by waiting to post these until after Christmas, but just think what perfect Valentine's Day gifts they would make! Homemade candy vs. Whitman's Sampler? No contest. Sorry, Whitman's. It's just the truth.

Then again, you could always tuck these recipes away for next Christmas. 361 days? The countdown starts now.

Hot Cocoa Mix
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 & 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup cocoa powder

Directions:

1. Combine the sugar and vanilla in the bowl of a food processor and pulse until combined.

2. Add both types of chocolate chips to the bowl and pulse until the chocolate is finely ground and combined with the vanilla sugar.

3. Add the cocoa powder to the bowl and pulse until thoroughly mixed with the other ingredients. Check to make sure that no large chunks of chocolate remain.

To use the mix: Add 1/4 cup cocoa mix to 8 ounces hot milk. Stir until the cocoa mix dissolves completely.

Makes about 6 cups of cocoa mix.

Vanilla Marshmallows
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

3/4 ounce unflavored gelatin
1 cup cool water, divided
1 & 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla
powdered sugar, for dusting

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, combine the gelatin and 1/2 cup water. Coat a 9x13-inch pan with nonstick spray or grease with shortening.

2. In a deep saucepan over medium heat, combine the sugar, corn syrup, salt, and 1/2 cup water. Stir the mixture until the sugar dissolves. Increase the heat to high and cook (without stirring) until the mixture reaches 240°F on a candy thermometer.

3. With the mixer running on low speed, pour the hot syrup into the gelatin mixture. Increase the mixer speed to high and beat for 8-10 minutes or until the mixture is thick and fluffy. Toward the end of the mixing, add the vanilla.

4. Transfer the marshmallow to the prepared pan and use wet hands to spread it to the edges and smooth the surface. Sprinkle the surface with powdered sugar and allow the marshmallows to set for at least three hours before cutting. Use a greased knife to cut the marshmallows into squares or use a cookie cutter for shaped marshmallows.

Makes about 100 one-inch marshmallows.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles
Adapted from Joy the Baker

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup Greek yogurt
2 teaspoons vanilla

2 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda (for flavor)

1 & 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 cups chocolate chips
chocolate almond bark, for dipping

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter for about one minute at medium speed. Add the sugars and beat about two minutes more. Add the yogurt and vanilla and mix until combined.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter and sugar and mix at low speed until combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.

3. Form the cookie dough into one-inch balls and place them on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Freeze for at least three hours before dipping.

4. When you're ready to dip, melt the chocolate almond bark according to the package directions. Remove the cookie dough balls from the freezer and dip each one in the melted chocolate, coating completely. Return the balls to the wax paper to set. To decorate, drizzle any remaining melted chocolate over the balls in a zigzag pattern. Store in the refrigerator.

Makes about 30 one-inch truffles.

Chocolate Almond Toffee
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

1 cup salted butter
1 & 1/2 cups granulated sugar
3 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
2 cups slivered almonds, toasted
16 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Spread half of the almonds in a closely-packed single layer on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Sprinkle half of the chocolate chips over the almonds.

2. Melt the butter in a large, deep saucepan over medium heat. Add the sugar, water, and corn syrup and stir to combine. Bring the mixture to a boil, and allow it to boil gently until it reaches 300°F on a candy thermometer. Be sure to watch the temperature closely because the mixture will burn quickly if left on the heat too long.

3. Pour the hot syrup evenly over the almonds and chocolate. Immediately sprinkle the remaining chocolate chips evenly over the syrup, followed by the remaining almonds. Wait one or two minutes, then use a spatula to gently press the chocolate and almonds into the syrup and spread the chocolate evenly over the surface.

4. Cool completely before cutting into squares or breaking into uneven pieces.

Makes about 24 pieces.

Chocolate-Covered Buttercream Cherries
Adapted from Bakergirl

30 maraschino cherries with stems (about one 10-ounce jar)
1 cup powdered sugar
1 & 1/2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 & 1/2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 tablespoon shortening

Directions:

1. Drain the cherries and pat dry with paper towels. Combine the powdered sugar, butter, corn syrup, and salt in a small bowl and mix with a hand mixer for about one minute. The mixture will look like dry powdered sugar. Using clean hands, knead the mixture until it forms a smooth ball. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.

2. Divide the dough into 1/2-inch balls. Flatten each ball into a 2-inch circle with the palm of your hand. Wrap one circle around each cherry so that they are covered completely. Place the cherries on a baking sheet lined with wax paper. Cover and refrigerate for one hour.

3. Combine the chocolate chips and shortening in a small bowl and microwave for 30-second intervals until completely melted. Stir until smooth. Hold each cherry by the stem and dip into the chocolate, allowing the excess to drip off. Return the cherries to the wax paper and refrigerate until hardened. Transfer the cherries to a covered container and refrigerate for one to two weeks before serving.

Makes about 30 chocolate-covered cherries.

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Lofthouse-Style Sugar Cookies with Vanilla Buttercream

2011-12-24T21:55:00.000-08:00

I have SO many recipes that I want to share with you! Seven, to be exact.

One has been in the works for over a week. It's okay to be impressed.

Two are dipped in chocolate.

Two require a candy thermometer. Totally not as scary as it sounds.

One is the embodiment of all my childhood hopes and dreams. Seriously.

Two have actual fruit in them. From the produce section... where there are vegetables. I don't know how this happened.

One is covered in a crumbly mixture of flour, butter, and brown sugar.

One is in the oven at this very moment!

And one is thick, impossibly soft, frosted sugar cookies.

Most of the people I've talked to aren't familiar with the Lofthouse brand name, but almost everyone knows what "those really soft frosted sugar cookies they sell in the grocery store bakery" are. Right? I know you know!

These cookies are exactly like those. Except they're homemade. And a thousandmillion times better.

I know it's Christmas Eve and I probably should have posted this a few ~~days~~ weeks ago... but that doesn't mean it's too late! You need something to do between opening presents and eating hickory honey ham tomorrow, right?

I thought so. Merry Christmas!

Lofthouse-Style Sugar Cookies

Adapted from Sing For Your Supper

4 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

4 & 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 & 1/2 cups butter, softened

1 & 1/2 cups sugar

3 eggs

1 tablespoon + 2 teaspoons vanilla

Directions:

1. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter for about one minute at medium speed. With the mixer running, gradually add the sugar and cream for about one minute more. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Stir in the vanilla.

3. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients. Mix only until all of the flour is incorporated and the dough is uniform. Wrap the dough in plastic warp and chill for at least one hour.

4. When you are ready to bake the cookies, preheat the oven to 350°F. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and allow it to thaw slightly--just enough that you can easily roll it out.

5. Working with half of the dough at a time, roll the dough out to 1/4-inch thickness on a lightly floured surface. Use a cookie cutter to cut out shapes and transfer them to the prepared baking sheets. Re-roll the dough as many times as needed.

6. Bake the cut-out cookies for 10-12 minutes or just until set. Be careful not to overbake! The cookies will likely not brown at all. Cool completely before frosting.

Vanilla Buttercream

1 cup butter

5 cups powdered sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

Directions: Combine the powdered sugar and salt in a medium bowl. In a separate small bowl, combine the milk and vanilla. Cream the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer for about one minute at medium speed. Reduce the speed to low and add the powdered sugar about 1/2 cup at a time. Once all of the sugar is incorporated, add the milk and vanilla. Increase the speed to medium and beat for about two minutes or until the frosting is light and fluffy.

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Birthday #24 + Leavenworth 2011

2011-12-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

Gingerbread Loaf with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

2011-12-10T00:00:00.001-08:00

I know I already wrote a post about Christmas songs, but seriously? We need to talk about The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Here's where I stand: no matter how difficult a person is to shop for, a bird in a fruit-bearing tree is not the answer. Especially if you are said person's true love.

What's wrong with a box of Frangos and a Starbucks gift card? Even a nice pair of wool socks would be a better choice. Two living things to care for? That's not a gift; it's an obligation. Besides, just think what a PITA it would be to wrap.

While we're on the subject, let's not forget that Mr. TrueLove doesn't stop at the partridge. He also deems it appropriate to bestow two turtle doves, three french hens, four colly (am I the only one who thought it was calling?) birds, six geese, and seven swans.

That's 23 birds. Good luck regifting.

Also, what's the deal with the maids, ladies, lords, pipers, and drummers? Sounds like indentured servitude, if you ask me. Not to mention that 42 people dancing, leaping, piping, and drumming would probably go from entertaining to more annoying than this commercial in about 1.7 seconds.

Winged creatures and stage performers aside, all we're left with are five golden rings. Which is actually a pretty decent gift, since you could probably sell them at Cash 4 Gold and use the money to buy yourself an iPad2. That is, of course, if you have any left after buying all the birdseed and earplugs you're going to need.

Perhaps this is why gift cards were invented.

Gingerbread Loaf with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

For the gingerbread:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/2 teaspoons ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cloves
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
3/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup water
1 egg
1 cup buttermilk

For the maple cream cheese frosting:

4 ounces cream cheese
2 ounces butter
1 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tablespoon milk

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 9"x5" loaf pan.

2. Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg in a large bowl. Combine the melted butter and molasses in a separate bowl, then pour into the dry ingredients and mix until completely incorporated.

3. Add the water and stir until smooth. Combine the buttermilk and egg in a separate bowl, then pour into the batter and stir until combined.

4. Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the loaf comes out clean. Cool in the pan 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack. Cool completely before frosting.

5. To make the frosting: Use a hand mixer to beat together the cream cheese and butter for about 1 minute. Add the powdered sugar about 1/2 cup at a time, beating at low speed after each addition. Once the sugar is totally incorporated, add the maple syrup and milk. Beat the frosting for 1-2 minutes, or until smooth. You can adjust the thickness of the frosting by adding more powdered sugar (if you want it to be thicker) or more milk (if you want it to be thinner).

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Cherry Almond Cookies with Vanilla Glaze + How to Host a Holiday Cookie Exchange

2011-12-05T21:05:00.001-08:00

I'm not the kind of person who hosts parties.

I'm more of a doesn't-answer-her-phone-if-she-doesn't-recognize-your-number, turns-off-the-TV-and-hides-in-the-corner-when-the-doorbell-rings, pretends-she-doesn't-see-you-at-the-grocery-store kind of person.

Awkward.

But in spite of my social ineptitude, I did host a party! A party that involved 36 dozen cookies. And gingerbread houses that weren't made of gingerbread. And lots of candy and royal icing.

I hosted a holiday cookie exchange! Which pretty much makes me an expert party-hoster (hostess?) and qualifies me to teach you how to host one yourself. Who needs Martha?

Step 1: Set a Date and Invite Guests

Send out your invitations 3-4 weeks before the party. I used Evite, which has quite a few holiday-themed invitations, including a couple specifically designed for cookie exchanges.
For this kind of party, 8-12 guests is ideal. The fewer guests you have, the less variety you'll have in your cookie selection. On the other hand, the more guests you have, the more cookies each person has to make; if the number gets too high, it may deter people from wanting to participate in the exchange.
Ask your guests to RSVP at least two weeks before the party. The number of cookies each person needs to bring will depend on how many guests plan to attend; setting an RSVP deadline will ensure that you can give your guests plenty of notice as to how many cookies to bake.
Ask that your guests let you know what kind of cookie they plan to bring when they RSVP. This will allow you to make sure there are no duplicates.
Be sure to explain what a cookie exchange is in case your guests aren't familiar with this kind of party. Feel free to use the wording from my invitation:

Please join me for a festive evening of delicious cookies and holiday cheer!

A cookie exchange is no ordinary party! For this special occasion, each guest will need to bring a few dozen homemade, holiday-themed cookies. The best part? Everyone leaves with an assortment of cookies to enjoy at home!

Please RSVP by November 20th, and let me know what kind of cookie you are planning to bring. This way I can make sure there are no duplicates; it's more fun if everyone brings something different!

Once I know how many people are attending, I will let each of you know how many cookies to bring.

I look forward to celebrating the season with you!

P.S. Holiday attire is strongly encouraged!

Step 2: Finalize Details with Confirmed Guests

Once all of your guest have RSVP'd or the deadline you set has arrived, contact the guests who will be attending and let them know how many cookies they will each need to bring.
The number of cookies you want each person to bring is totally up to you. At my party, there were nine people including myself, and each person brought 4 dozen cookies; this meant that everyone was able to take 5-6 of each cookie home. I felt that this was a really manageable number of cookies for each person to bake, and there were plenty to go around. However, some of the sources I consulted recommended that each person bring a dozen cookies per guest plus an extra dozen to be eaten at the party. Do whatever you think will work best for your guests and your party!
Find out what kind of cookie each guest is bringing, if they haven't already told you. If there are any duplicates, find out if either person is willing to bring something different. Or let them bring the same thing... it's up to you! Everyone at my party brought something totally different, which gave everyone a really nice variety to take home.
Ask each person to bring enough copies of their recipe for each guest. Alternatively, you can ask each person to email you their recipe so that you can put together a recipe booklet or packet for each person. I'm lucky enough to have a crafty sister who made adorable recipe card sets for each person:

Step 3: Decide On an Activity

You'll need something to do at your party other than stand around and eat cookies. Or maybe you won't. But it's always good to have a back-up plan! Some of the ideas that came to mind when I was planning my party were a white elephant gift exchange, a holiday trivia competition, and holiday charades (that's my awkwardness rearing it's ugly head). Ultimately, I decided on a gingerbread house decorating competition!
Whatever you choose to do, keep it simple and make sure it's something that will keep people interacting with each other. Gingerbread houses turned out to be a great idea because we were able to sit down and chat while we were decorating. Here are some tips if you want to make gingerbread houses at your party:

Keep it simple by using graham crackers instead of gingerbread. This will cut down on the prep work for you and allow people to be more creative by cutting the crackers into whatever sizes and shapes they want.
Royal icing will work best for assembling the houses and attaching decorations. I used Bridget's recipe from Bake at 350. I recommend making a double batch and dividing it into 6-8 plastic sandwich bags. Snip one corner off of each bag and use them to pipe the icing.
Make sure you have paper plates on hand to build the houses on. This was something I overlooked, which made it a bit challenging for everyone to take their creations home.
The more options you have for decorating the houses, the more fun it will be! Here are some of the things we used:

miniature candy canes
Candy Cane Hershey's Kisses
vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry cream wafers
frosted shredded wheat cereal
licorice
miniature marshmallows
shredded coconut
m&m's
pretzel sticks
cinnamon imperials
christmas nonpareils and jimmies

After everyone has finished their houses, have everyone vote for their favorite!

Step 4: Prepare for the Party

Collect everything you will need for the party at least three days ahead of time. Here are some of the things you may need:

Ingredients for the cookies you're making
Hors d'oeuvres and drinks to serve at the party
Supplies for the gingerbread houses
Paper plates, cups, napkins, and utensils
Boxes for packaging the cookies each guests will take home (I used decorative shirt boxes I found in the seasonal section at Target. As an alternative, you can ask each guest to bring a container with them for transporting the cookies.)
Parchment paper
Platters to display each kind of cookie

Do as much prep work as possible for your cookies the day before the party. This will depend on your recipe, but I was able to make my cookie dough the day before and bake them the day of the party.
Create a name tag for each cookie; this way the guests won't have to ask or wonder what each one is. I used ornament placecard holders to display a name tag in front of each platter of cookies.

If you're putting together recipe cards for your guests, try to complete these at least two days ahead of time.

Step 5: Party time!

When guests arrive, ask them to set out some of their cookies on the platters; have an area set aside for them to place any extras.
When it's time for everyone to pack up their cookies, let your guests know how many of each kind they can take. To figure this out, divide the number of cookies each person brought by how many people are at the party (including yourself). If it doesn't work out evenly, round down.
Listen to Christmas music, drink eggnog, and have fun!

Please don't hesitate to leave me a comment if you have any questions. A party like this requires a bit of effort to organize, but it's such a fun way to get together with friends and celebrate the holiday season! Listed below are some of the cookies my guests brought to get you started if you do decide to host a cookie exchange or even if you're just attending one:

Chocolate Crinkles

Raspberry Walnut Thumbprints

Black-Bottom Coconut Bars

Chocolate & Vanilla Madeleines

Oreo Cheesecake Cookies

I made cherry almond cookies with vanilla glaze (recipe below), which are absolutely delicious! I made a double batch in order to yield 4 dozen cookies. Next time I'll probably make a triple batch in order to ensure that there's plennnty of extra cookie dough. Catch my drift?

Cherry Almond Cookies with Vanilla Glaze

Adapted from Giada De Laurentiis

For the cookies:

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 egg

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup dried cherries, chopped

1/2 cup slivered, blanched almonds, chopped

For the vanilla glaze:

2 & 3/4 cups powdered sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 tablespoons water

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter for about one minute at medium speed. Add the sugar, vanilla extract, almond extract, cinnamon, and salt and beat for about two minutes more, or until the mixture is light and fluffy. Beat in the egg. Reduce the mixer speed to stir and add the flour, mixing just until completely incorporated. Stir in the cherries and almonds by hand.

2. Transfer the dough to a piece of plastic wrap at least 14 inches long. Shape the dough into a 12-inch log with a diameter of 1 & 1/2 inches. Wrap the dough tightly and chill it for at least two hours or up to three days.

3. Preheat the oven to 350°F and line two cookie sheets with parchment paper. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and remove the plastic wrap. Cut the log into 1/2-inch slices. Arrange the slices one inch apart on the cookie sheets and bake for about 15 minutes, or until the cookies are puffed and golden. Transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

4. To make the vanilla glaze: whisk together the powdered sugar, vanilla extract and water in a medium bowl. If the glaze is too thick to drizzle, add water on teaspoon at a time until it reaches the right consistency.

5. Use a spoon to drizzle the glaze back and forth over the cooled cookies; allow the glaze to set for about one hour before serving.

Makes about 24 cookies.

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Toffee Brownies Bites with Caramel Buttercream

2011-11-29T22:51:00.001-08:00

I reallyreallyreally love Christmas music.

From the oldies to the super-oldies to the eighties to the manufactured pop to the R&B ballads to the easy listening to the duets to the Paul McCartney to the Charlie Brown, I enjoy them all.

(Click, click, click! Don't be a Grinch.)

That is, except for the ones I absolutelycannotstand:

Madonna's version of Santa Baby (see also: nails on a chalkboard),
Sippin' in Seattle's Latte Land by Duffy Bishop,
The Christmas Shoes by Newsong,
and Christmas in the Northwest by Brenda White

Unfortunately (?), the first 48 seconds of a random ice skating video was the only audio I could find for the ridiculous coffee-themed adaptation of Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Which obviously means that The Rulers of the Internet agree with me about how awful it is.

Sometimes I buy songs to put on my iPod that I don't necessarily like, just so I can play them whenever I want to ~~annoy my family, friends, and coworkers~~ be funny, ridiculous, and/or ironic.

You do that too, right? Please say yes. If other people don't do this, how am I going to continue to justify this being on my iPod?

Anyway, this should explain why a few days ago I bought a couple of The Christmas Songs I AbosolutelyCannotStand.

At work, we're allowed to listen to the music of our choice before the shop opens, and it seemed like the perfect day to ~~make my coworkers hate me~~ start playing my Christmas music. I needed those songs in order to make my playlist hilariously, ridiculously, and ironically complete.

I plugged my iPod in, selected my Christmas playlist, and hit shuffle.

The first song that came on was The Christmas Shoes. Weird, right? I just bought it that morning! But it achieved the level of ridiculousness I was going for. Mission accomplished.

The next song? Christmas in the Northwest. Okay, fine. Now that the funny/ridiculous/ironic songs were over, I was ready for some timeless holiday classics.

Except, the music stopped playing. Which made no sense because there were at least fifty songs on the playlist. But whatever.

I selected my Christmas playlist again and hit shuffle. First song? Christmas in the Northwest. Second song? The Christmas Shoes. End playlist.

Yikes.

I've tried everything. Deleting the songs and re-adding them. Re-syncing my iPod. Deleting the playlist and making a new one. No matter what I do, these are the only two songs that will play when I shuffle my Christmas playlist.

I guess this is my karmic punishment for trying to be ironic. Helppp.

In times like these, you need brownies to numb the pain (of your bleeding ears). Bite-sized brownies with toffee bits and caramel frosting, to be exact. But seriously? Chocolate + toffee + caramel = You should definitely make these even if you aren't stranded on The Island of Misfit Christmas Songs.

See what I did there? Ha.

Toffee Brownie Bites with Caramel Buttercream

For the brownies:

1 box Duncan Hines Chewy Fudge Brownie Mix
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
1 & 1/4 cups toffee bits, divided

For the caramel buttercream:

1/2 cup butter, softened
2 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon milk
3 tablespoons caramel ice cream topping

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven according to the directions on the brownie mix packaging. Coat a mini cupcake pan with nonstick spray or line with paper liners.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the water, vegetable oil, and eggs. Add all but 1/2 cup of the brownie mix, and whisk until smooth. Combine the reserved brownie mix with 1 cup toffee bits in a small bowl, then whisk this mixture into the brownie batter until fully incorporated. This additional step will prevent the toffee bits from sinking to the bottom of the batter.

3. Spoon about 1 & 1/2 tablespoons of batter into each cup of the prepared pan. Bake for 16-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center brownie comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.

4. To make the frosting: In a medium bowl, cream the butter for about one minute with an electric hand mixer at medium speed. Add the powdered sugar and continue mixing at low speed for about one minute more; the mixture will look dry and crumbly. Add the milk and continue mixing until the frosting comes together, adding additional milk if needed. Add the caramel and mix until completely incorporated.

5. Once the brownies are completely cool, pipe a swirl of frosting onto each one and garnish with the remaining toffee bits.

Makes about 30 brownie bites.

FTC Disclosure: As part of the Foodbuzz Tastemakers Program, I received Duncan Hines Chewy Fudge Brownie Mix at no cost; however, all opinions stated are my own.

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Thanksgiving 2011: Pumpkin Pie and Carrot Cake

2011-11-27T18:25:00.001-08:00

Where to begin.

I guess I should start by accepting the award for Worst Food Blogger Ever, since I'm just now posting the desserts I made for Thanksgiving... three days too late for you to make them. I guess you can just consider these early for next year.

Ohwait. Did I say the same thing last Thanksgiving?

Happenings of Thanksgiving 2011:

1. My longstanding annoyance toward making pie intensified. I started baking at around 7 p.m. on Wednesday and didn't finish until 2 a.m. 2AM!!! All because of the stupid* pumpkin pie and its burnt gingersnap crust, followed by pie dough sticking to everylastthing, and topped off by pumpkin filling splashing all over my oven.

burnt crust!

*Please note that this is my second choice of all potential adjectives to describe that pie. I wouldn't want to use my first choice and have my classy lady status revoked.

2. I made the best carrot cake everrr. Which almost made up for the horrific pie episode. Almost.

3. I saw Arthur Christmas on Thanksgiving night, which turned out to be the first (new) Christmas movie I've truly enjoyed in the past several years. I laughed out loud on several occasions! That said, A Charlie Brown Christmas will always be my favorite.

4. After the movie (around 11:30 p.m.), my dad, my sister, and I were going to stop at Starbucks. That is, until we saw the 20+ cars lined up in the drive-through. Cars filled with crazed, pepper-spray-wielding Black Friday shoppers no doubt.

5. I volunteered to work at 3:45 a.m. on Friday. At the mall. To be honest? I was disappointed. I had hoped to experience the madness of Black Friday for the first time, but it turned out that all the really intense shopping happened between 10 p.m. and midnight.

Instead, I sat at my kiosk and observed mall people for four long hours.

I judged their fashion choices. (Only about 25% of people were wearing real pants. One person was wearing a brown suit, complete with top hat).

I considered suicide as an alternative to listening to the Hickory Farms guy shout "You folks care for a sample?" overandoverandover while furiously shaking his container of mint meltaways.

And I listened (against my will) to two of my fellow mall workers debate the relative superiority of the Cowboys and the Seahawks. And when I say debate, I mean "smugly repeat the same point over and over until one of them gave up."

6. After my exhilarating Black Friday experience, I went home and slept for six hours. Which completely threw off my circadian rhythm. I'm still recovering.

Pumpkin Pie
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

For the filling:

1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon cloves
3 eggs
2 cups (15 oz) pumpkin puree
1 & 1/4 cups half & half

For the crust:

Pie crust

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, combine the granulated sugar, brown sugar, flour, salt, and spices. In a large measuring cup, whisk together the eggs, pumpkin, and half & half until thoroughly combined.

2. Pour the wet ingredients over the dry ingredients and whisk together until smooth.

3. Prepare the pie crust dough. Roll it out into a 13" circle and transfer it to a 9-inch pie pan. Trim off any excess dough and crimp the edges. Chill the piecrust while the oven preheats to 400°F. I'm not providing instructions for making the pie crust because I had a really hard time with it. I recommend that you follow King Arthur Flour's instructions, use your favorite recipe, or buy a refrigerated pie crust at the store!

4. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until the filling is set two inches in from the edge; the center will finish cooking as the pie cools.

Makes 1 pie, 6-8 servings.

Carrot Cake with Coconut, Raisins, and Walnuts
Adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

For the cake:

2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon cloves
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon allspice
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 cups carrots, grated
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1 cup coconut, shredded
1/2 cup raisins
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs

For the frosting:

1 & 1/2 cups cream cheese, softened
1 cup + 2 tablespoons butter, softened
2 teaspoons vanilla
9 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 325°F. Coat three 8-inch cake pans with nonstick spray and line the bottom of each pan with parchment paper. Spray the parchment paper with nonstick spray and coat each pan with flour.

2. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, spices, and salt. In a separate bowl, stir together the carrots, walnuts, coconut, and raisins.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the sugar and oil at medium speed until smooth. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Reduce the mixer speed to stir and add the dry ingredients, mixing just until incorporated. Add the carrot mixture and mix until evenly distributed.

4. Divide the batter evenly among the prepared cake pans. Bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each layer comes out clean. Cool the cakes in the pans for about 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

5. While the cake cools, make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese and butter at medium-high speed for about two minutes. Add the vanilla and beat one minute more. Reduce the mixer speed to stir and add the powdered sugar 1/2 cup at a time. Once all of the sugar is incorporated, increase the speed to medium-high and beat for about two minutes, or until the frosting is light and fluffy.

6. Assemble the cake. Stack the cake layers on top of each other, adding a generous layer of frosting between each layer of cake. Cover the top and sides of the cake with frosting as well. Chill for at least 30 minutes before serving. For detailed instructions on assembling a layer cake, please visit this post.

Makes 1 three-layer cake, about 10 servings.

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Pumpkin Maple Rolls

2011-11-17T18:31:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving is next week. I should probably write something about that.

But what is there to say, really? I've heard people say they're annoyed that Thanksgiving gets overshadowed by Halloween and Christmas. But the truth is, there's nothing to overshadow. That's actually one of the things I love most about Thanksgiving. It's all about ~~spending time with family~~ eating yourself into a carb-induced coma. There are no Thanksgiving costumes. No Thanksgiving lights. No Thanksgiving trees. Just a four-day weekend of gluttony and mindless consumerism.

So I'm just going to go ahead and start writing about Christmas. Here are some of the things that my eyes are already getting sparkly about:

eating right-triangle shaped pieces of heaven
visiting the most magical place ~~on earth~~ in Washington
channeling my inner Martha and eating lots of cookies
listening to Christmas songs, particularly the love child of my favorite decade and my favorite holiday
requesting that my family and friends make a charitable donation in lieu of buying me gifts

But before we get to all of that, we need to make pumpkin maple rolls.
And by we... I mean you.

Because I already did. And then this happened:

Pumpkin Maple Rolls
Adapted from Lauren's Latest

For the dough:

2 & 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/4 teaspoon + 2/3 cup granulated sugar, divided
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup warm milk
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup pumpkin puree
6 cups all-purpose flour

For the filling:

2 tablespoons butter, melted
1/4 cup maple syrup
3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tablespoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

For the glaze:

4 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 & 1/2 teaspoons maple extract
7 tablespoons milk

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, stir together the yeast, 1/4 cup granulated sugar, and warm water. Allow to proof for 5-10 minutes, or until the yeast becomes foamy. If the yeast does not foam, discard and start over with new yeast.

2. To the same bowl, add the warm milk, butter, sugar, salt, and pumpkin puree and stir well. Add the flour 1/2 cup at a time, until you can no longer stir the dough. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead in the remaining flour until the dough is sticky, but does not stick to your hands. For me, this took about 5 minutes, and I used about 5 & 1/2 cups of flour.

3. Transfer the dough to a lightly greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise in a warm, draft-free area for about two hours, or until doubled in volume.

4. While the dough is rising, combine the melted butter and maple syrup in a small bowl. In a separate bowl, combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg. Grease a 9x13-inch pan and an 8x8-inch square dish.

5. Punch down the dough and transfer it to a lightly greased surface. Roll the dough out into a rectangle approximately 12 inches by 24 inches. Using a pastry brush or small spatula, spread the butter and syrup mixture evenly over the surface of the dough. Sprinkle the brown sugar and spice mixture evenly over the moistened surface, and gently press it into the dough.

6. Roll the dough up as tightly as possible into a log. With a sharp knife, trim about one inch off each end of the log and discard. Cut the log into 16 equal pieces. The easiest way to do this is to cut the log in half, then cut the halves in half, and so on. Carefully transfer the slices to the prepared pans (12 in the large pan, 4 in the small pan) and reshape if necessary. Cover the pans with plastic wrap.

7. Place a baking dish filled with about 1" of boiling water on the bottom rack of a cold oven. Place the covered pans on the top rack of the oven and allow to rise for about one hour, or until almost doubled in size.

8. Remove the pan of boiling water and the risen rolls from the oven and preheat to 350°F. Once the oven is heated, remove the plastic wrap from the pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the rolls are golden brown.

9. While the rolls are baking, prepare the glaze. Combine the powdered sugar, vanilla, maple extract, and milk in a medium bowl. Whisk until the ingredients come together to form a thick glaze. Drizzle the glaze over the hot rolls. Serve warm.

Makes 16 rolls.

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Pumpkin Whoopie Pies with Caramel Cream Cheese Filling

2011-11-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

I've been looking forward to these whoopie pies since August when I planned out my fall baking schedule.

Yes, I made a schedule. Yes, in August. Have we met?

Unfortunately, the universe sensed how excited I was about caramel cream cheese frosting sandwiched between pumpkin cake-cookies and decided to invoke that every-action-equal-opposite-reaction thing by completely ruining them, thereby sending me into a spiral of disappointment and self-loathing equal to my initial level of excitement.

Abridged version? The universe ruined my whoopie pies, and my will to live is waning.

How did I (the universe) ruin them? I underbaked them. Major.

The tester came out clean, the tops sprang back when pressed gently, and everything seemed to be in order when I was assembling them. But as soon as I took a bite, my pumpkin whoopie pie dreams were shattered.

Some things are kind of delicious when they're slightly underbaked (hello, brownies. hello, cookies), but cake is not one of those things. Not to mention that "slightly" doesn't really apply in this case.

Q: Which of the following disturbs you most?

I. I still ate an entire whoopie pie. Plus a few extra bites "just to see if they were really under baked." Sound familiar?

II. As I was throwing them away ( / crying and cursing the universe), Charlie snatched one out of my hand and devoured it in approximately 3 seconds. Apparently, pumpkin whoopie pies are bulldog-approved.

III. Despite my complete failure, I still decided to blog about these and highly recommend that you make them.

Please select your answer from the following choices:

A. I only
B. II only
C. I & II only
D. I & III only
E. I, II & III
F. None of the above

Anyone else having a terrifying flashback to reading this kind of question on a standardized test and wondering why WTF isn't listed as an option?

No? Just me again?

I don't want to sound all "those grapes were probably sour anyway", but I've decided that I don't really like whoopie pies. The cake-to-frosting ratio is all wrong. Double cake? Ehh. Double frosting? YES.

If you disagree, then you've obviously never had caramel cream cheese frosting.
You should really do something about that.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies with Caramel Cream Cheese Filling
Adapted from Martha Stewart

For the whoopie pies:

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 tablespoons cinnamon
1 tablespoon ginger
2 teaspoons nutmeg
1 teaspoon cloves
2 cups brown sugar, pakced
1 cup vegetable oil
3 cups pumpkin puree
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla

For the caramel cream cheese filling:

3/4 cup butter
1 cup cream cheese
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
6 cups powdered sugar
caramel ice cream topping

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves. In a separate large bowl, stir together the brown sugar and oil until completely combined . Add the pumpkin puree, followed by the eggs and vanilla, mixing well after each ingredient is added.

3. Sprinkle the dry ingredients over the wet ingredients, and stir until the dry ingredients are totally incorporated.

4. Using an ice cream or cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheets about one inch apart. I used a 1/4-cup scoop and ended up with 24 cakes, which made 12 large whoopie pies. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until the tops begin to crack and a toothpick inserted into the center of each cake comes out clean. Cool the cakes completely on the pans.

5. While the cakes are baking, make the filling. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and cream cheese at medium-high speed for about two minutes. Add the vanilla and beat one minute more. Reduce the speed to stir and add the powdered sugar about 1/2 cup at a time. Once the sugar is completely incorporated, increase the speed to medium-high and beat for about two minutes.

6. Assemble the whoopie pies:

Prepare your decorating bag. You can either use a disposable pastry bag or a gallon-size plastic storage bag. After fitting your decorating bag with a large round piping tip, use a small spatula to paint stripes on the inside of the bag with the caramel ice cream topping. Next, fill the bag with the cream cheese frosting. Squeeze the frosting out into a small bowl until you begin to see the stripes of caramel in the frosting.

Match up the cooled cakes according to size and shape. Pipe 2-3 tablespoons of frosting onto one cake in each pair. Top the frosted cakes with the unfrosted cakes and press down gently. Chill for 30 minutes before serving.

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Peanut Butter Candy Bar Squares

2011-11-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

Ostensibly, these bars are the solution I'm offering for those of you looking to get rid of unwanted Halloween candy. But considering that I'm posting this almost a full week after Halloween, I guess it's pretty obvious that I just wanted an excuse to bake something with peanut butter candy bars in it.

Besides that, since when is Halloween candy something that people don't want around? That's just silly, if you ask me.

Even though I knew I wasn't going to get a single trick-or-treater, I went to the store on Halloween and bought candy so I could make these bars the next day. I figured I should buy it while it was still on sale.

"But, Allix, wouldn't the candy have been even cheaper on the day after Halloween?"

Oh. Yeahhh.

Imagine my dismay when Safeway was out of fun-size Butterfingers on Halloween! Are people really this last-minute with their candy purchasing? I was under the impression that most people started buying Halloween candy the day after labor day, ate their way through 5-10 bags of it before Halloweekend even arrived, and then bought a bag of that really crappy candy to give out to trick-or-treaters so that they could ~~keep~~ hoard all the good candy for themselves.

No? Just me then.

P.S. Who decided that the term "Halloweekend" was a good idea? I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Anyway, these bars? They're serious. They are peanut butter on top of peanut butter on top of peanut butter, with a few chocolate chips thrown in for good measure.

Don't let a lack of leftover Halloween candy deter you from making these. Christmas (!!!) candy works just as well.

Peanut Butter Candy Bar Squares
Adapted from Bake or Break

1 package (16 oz) Nutter Butter cookies, crushed
1/2 cup butter, melted
14 ounces sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon vanilla
25 miniature peanut butter cups, chopped
7 fun-size Butterfinger candy bars, chopped
1 cup chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a 13x9-inch pan with aluminum foil and coat with nonstick spray.

2. In a medium bowl, stir together the crushed cookies and melted butter. Press the mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan, and bake for 6-8 minutes.

3. In a small bowl, combine the condensed milk, peanut butter, and vanilla. Whisk together until smooth.

4. Sprinkle the chopped candy bars and chocolate chips evenly over the baked crust. Drizzle the peanut butter mixture evenly over the candy bar layer.

5. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until the center is set and the top is lightly browned. Cool completely before cutting into bars.

Makes about 20 bars.

As I mentioned in my last post, I didn't dress up for Halloween this year. It's probably for the best, since I'm pretty sure I maxed out my potential for Halloween cuteness the year this photo was taken:

I'm the bunny to the left of the ninja turtle. No biggie. I'll just quit while I'm ahead.

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Homemade Caramel Corn (two ways!) + Halloween Trail Mix

2011-10-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

A few things:

1. Caramel corn is ridiculously easy to make in the privacy of your own kitchen. Without annnyone around to judge you when you can't. stop. eating it. Good or bad thing? You decide.

2. Confession: I burnt my first batch of caramel. I actually didn't realize this until I tasted the caramel corn ~~every time I opened the oven to stir it~~ after it was done. But for some reason I still couldn't stop eating it. I tasted piece after piece after piece "just to see if it was really burnt."

3. You probably shouldn't respond to emails on your iPhone while making caramel.

4. I'm not dressing up for Halloween. Mostly because I just don't like dressing up, but also because I'm still scarred by the disappointment I experienced two years ago when I bought a several bags of candy, dressed up as a bumblebee, and didn't even get one trick-or-treater. It was devastating.

5. Stephen and I are much too practical to buy a costume for Charlie. But we decided that if we were going to, we'd definitely dress him up as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And when I say that "Stephen and I" are much too practical, I'm sure you know that I actually just mean Stephen is.

6. If you're one of my coworkers, please disregard everything I said in #2. I would never give you burnt caramel corn and try to disguise it by mixing it in with un-burnt caramel corn, chocolate drizzled pretzels, and Halloween candy. Never.

7. Have you heard about this and this and this? Just stop it. Halloween is weird enough as it is.

Traditional Caramel Corn
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

15 cups popped popcorn
2 tablespoons molasses
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup salted butter
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Directions:

1. Place the popcorn in a large bowl (at least 6 quarts). Preheat the oven to 200°F and line a half-sheet pan or cookie sheet with parchment paper.

2. Combine the molasses, brown sugar, butter, and corn syrup in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring the mixture to a boil. Boil for five minutes, stirring occasionally. Note: Do not attempt to answer emails during this step.

3. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the baking soda; the mixture should become foamy. Carefully pour the hot caramel over the popcorn and stir until all of the popcorn is coated.

4. Transfer the caramel corn to the sheet pan and spread it into an even layer. Bake for one hour, stirring every 15 minutes.

Maple-Toffee Popcorn
Adapted from Babble

10 cups popped popcorn
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 & 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Directions:

1. Place the popcorn in a large bowl (at least 6 quarts). Preheat the oven to 200°F and line a half-sheet pan or cookie sheet with parchment paper.

2. Combine the butter, brown sugar, maple syrup, and salt in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring the mixture to a boil. Boil for four minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the vanilla and baking soda; the mixture should become foamy. Carefully pour the hot caramel over the popcorn and stir until all of the popcorn is coated.

4. Transfer the caramel corn to the sheet pan and spread it into an even layer. Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.

Halloween Trail Mix

20 cups caramel corn
12 cups chocolate-drizzled pretzels (see instructions below)
2 cups Reese's Pieces
2 cups candy corn

To serve as a party snack, combine all ingredients in a large bowl. As Ina would say... how easy is that?

For individual treat bags, assemble as follows:

Bottom Layer: 2 tablespoons Reese's Pieces + 2 tablespoons candy corn. (To make this easier, I used a 1/4 cup measure filled halfway with Reese's Pieces and halfway with candy corn)
Middle Layer: 1 & 1/2 cups caramel corn (I used a mixture of both caramel corn recipes in each treat bag)
Top Layer: 1 cup (about 8) chocolate-drizzled pretzels

Tie each treat bag with an orange, black, or purple ribbon. Use treat bags as currency to buy the affection of your coworkers, neighbors, and friends!

Makes about 12 treat bags.

Chocolate-Drizzled Pretzels

12 cups pretzels

1 cup milk chocolate chips

Halloween sprinkles

Directions:

1. Working 4 cups at a time, arrange the pretzels in an even layer on a piece of parchment paper.

2. Melt the chocolate chips by heating them in the microwave for 1-2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds. Transfer the melted chocolate to a pastry bag or a gallon-size plastic storage bag.

3. Cut about 1/4" off the end of the filled pastry bag. The hole should only be big enough to comfortably squeeze the chocolate through. Always err on the side of cutting the hole too small; you can always make it bigger!

4. Drizzle the chocolate over the pretzels by gently squeezing the pastry bag and making a zig-zag pattern. Immediately top with Halloween sprinkles.

5. Allow the chocolate to set for 2-3 hours. To ensure that the pretzels don't stick together and the chocolate doesn't smudge, place the pretzels in the freezer for about 10 minutes before assembling the treat bags.

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German Vanilla Cupcakes

2011-10-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

So, they're not the most beautiful cupcakes I've ever made. But the colorful leaves helped, right? Please tell me they helped.

When I took these over to my parents' house (because I was too embarrassed to bring them to work), I actually left a note that said "They taste better than they look!" so my dad wouldn't be afraid to eat them.

The idea for these cupcakes was born from my love of that dubious looking coconut pecan topping. I wanted to find something other than german chocolate cake (which, as it happens, has nothing to do with Germany) to put it on. And since my favorite cake-frosting combination is vanilla cake with chocolate buttercream, I thought that would be a good place to start.

You might not be able to tell from the pictures, but my experiment was a success. There are a lot of flavors going on--vanilla, chocolate, coconut, caramel, pecan--but they manage to complement each other really well. I used Martha Stewart's vanilla cupcake recipe, which wasn't bad by any means, but I'm still searching for the ultimate vanilla cupcake recipe. Let me know if you have one I should try!

In other news, I did a cupcake decorating demo at the Tacoma Holiday Food & Gift Festival for the cupcake shop I work at earlier this week, and now I'm completely in the holiday spirit. It's taking everything I have not to create a Christmas station on Pandora. Instead, I've resorted to listening to this way more than I'd like to admit.

It's a situation.

German Vanilla Cupcakes
Adapted from Martha Stewart, Brown Eyed Baker, and Betty Crocker

For the cupcakes:

1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons milk

For the chocolate buttercream:

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 ounces semisweet chocolate, melted and slightly cooled
3 ounces milk chocolate, melted and slightly cooled

For the coconut pecan topping:

1 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup butter
1 cup evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 egg yolks
1 & 1/3 cups flaked coconut
1 cup pecans, chopped

Directions:

1. Prepare the coconut pecan topping. In a medium saucepan, stir together the brown sugar, butter, evaporated milk, vanilla, and egg yolks. Cook over medium heat for about 12 minutes, stirring frequently, until thick and bubbly. Remove the pan from the heat, and stir in the coconut and pecans. Cool for at least 30 minutes.

2. Make the cupcakes. Preheat the oven to 350°F and line a 12-cup muffin pan with paper liners. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter for about one minute at medium speed. With the mixer running, gradually add the sugar. Beat the butter and sugar for about two minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Add the vanilla, and continue mixing until totally incorporated.

4. Reduce the mixer's speed to low, and alternately add the dry ingredients and milk, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Scrape the sides of the bowl and beat for one minute at medium speed.

5. Divide the batter evenly among the lined muffin cups, and bake for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean. Allow the cupcakes to cool in the pan for about five minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

6. While the cupcakes are baking, prepare the chocolate buttercream. Place the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat at medium-high speed for 3-5 minutes. Reduce the mixer's speed to low, and gradually add the powdered sugar. Once the sugar is mostly incorporated, add the melted chocolate and vanilla. Beat at medium-high speed for about two minutes, or until light and fluffy.

7. To assemble: Frost the cooled cupcakes with a swirl of chocolate buttercream and top with one to two tablespoons of coconut pecan topping.

Makes about 12 cupcakes

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Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins with Spiced Crumb Topping

2011-10-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

You knew it was only a matter of time before the onslaught of pumpkin recipes began, right?

For the past five days, I've been struggling to think of some words to write about these muffins that would convince you that you need to try them. Here's what I came up with:

Pumpkin. Cream cheese. Muffins.

Convinced?

While these were baking, I may ~~or may not~~ have occupied my time by swiffering the floor while ~~listening~~ dancing and lip syncing to songs like this, this, this, this, and this.

I know how it is. You're not going to click on every one of those just to find out how ridiculous I really am. But at least click on the second to last one. Trust me. Then you can wonder along with me how something like that was EVER cool.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins
Adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

For the muffins:

1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

For the filling:

4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 & 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

For the crumb topping:

1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Directions:

1. Make the filling by combining the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and vanilla in a medium bowl and stirring until smooth. Scrape the mixture out onto a piece of plastic wrap at least 12 inches long. Form the mixture into a 12-inch log, wrap tightly, and freeze for at least two hours.

2. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.

3. Make the crumb topping by using a fork to combine the flour, brown sugar, pumpkin pie spice, and melted butter in a small bowl.

4. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, thoroughly combine the sugar, canned pumpkin, eggs, oil, and vanilla. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and stir gently with a spatula just until completely combined.

5. Remove the cream cheese filling from the freezer and cut it into 12 one-inch pieces. Divide the muffin batter evenly among the muffin cups. Press one piece of the cream cheese filling into the center of each muffin, then sprinkle each muffin with about one tablespoon of the crumb topping. Gently press the topping into the batter to ensure that it sticks.

6. Bake the muffins for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center muffin comes out clean. Cool muffins in the pan for about five minutes before removing them to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in the refrigerator.

Makes about 12 muffins.

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Sweet Potato Spice Cake with Brown Sugar Buttercream

2011-10-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

Something exciting happened to me last week.

More exciting than usual, I mean. And when I say "usual", I think we both know that I mean watching 90's TV shows on Netflix and making iPhone videos of my dog.

Anyway. The exciting thing: my friend asked me to make a cake for her sister's wedding reception! I was shocked, honestly. And flattered. Even though I bake all the time and constantly barrage my Facebook friends with pictures of said baked goods, it never occurred to me that someone would actually want me to make something for a legitimate social occasion.

I was tempted to say no at first. I mean, it had only been two weeks since I had finally accomplished my new year's resolution to successfully assemble and frost a layer cake for the first time. But I didn't say no. I said yes. And as much as I hate complimenting myself, I have to say that I'm pretty proud of how it turned out:

I think I could have spent all of eternity trying to make the frosting completely smooth on the top and sides. Never going to happen.

After working so hard to make this cake perfect, I wasn't in the mood to make anything complicated this week. I just wanted something simple. Something that tasted like fall. Something that I could put brown sugar frosting on. Obviously.

Something = sweet potato spice cake.

The only time I really eat sweet potatoes is at Thanksgiving. Candied sweet potatoes, specifically. The potato part of which, let's face it, is just a vessel for brown sugar. Kind of like this cake.

The flavor of the sweet potatoes is very subtle once the cake is baked, but it pairs perfectly with the cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and allspice that really give this cake its flavor. In my opinion, this cake tastes best slightly chilled. The brown sugar frosting, although completely delicious, can be overwhelmingly sweet at room temperature.

Then again, maybe you like that kind of thing. Do what feels right.

And yes... I do normally eat cake right next to my living room window. With pine cones nearby.

Sweet Potato Spice Cake

Adapted from Epicurious

3-4 sweet potatoes

2 & 3/4 cups flour

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon allspice

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Pierce sweet potatoes several times with a fork. Microwave on high for about 16 minutes, turning the potatoes over halfway through. All the potatoes to cool, then peel and mash them.

2. Preheat the oven to 325°F. Generously coat a 13x9-inch pan with nonstick spray.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Measure out 2 cups (about 15 oz) of mashed sweet potatoes into a large bowl. Add the sugar and vegetable oil to the sweet potatoes and beat with an electric mixer until smooth.

4. Add the eggs to the sweet potato mixture two at a time, mixing well after each. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients; mix just until combined. Add the vanilla and mix thoroughly.

5. Transfer the batter to the prepared cake pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.

Brown Sugar Buttercream

Adapted from Food Network

This recipe will make quite a bit more frosting than you'll need for this cake, so feel free to halve it. You know, unless you trust yourself enough to feel comfortable having a bunch of extra brown sugar frosting around the house.

3 cups unsalted butter, softened

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup granulated sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

6 cups powdered sugar

1. In a microwave-safe container, whisk together 1 cup butter, heavy cream, brown sugar, white sugar, and vanilla. Microwave in one to two minute intervals until the mixture becomes thick and bubbly. Allow to cool completely.

2. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the remaining 2 cups of butter for about two minutes. Add 1/4 cup of the of the cooled brown sugar mixture and beat one minute more. With the mixer running on low speed, add the powdered sugar about 1/2 cup at a time. Once the sugar is fully incorporated, increase the speed to medium-high and beat for 2-3 minutes or until the frosting is smooth and creamy.

P.S. Did you notice the new page I added called "How to Measure"? It's there to help you convert volumetric measurements to weight measurements! Trust me, all the cool kids are doing it.

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Maple Oat Scones

2011-09-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

When I was 18, I worked at a grocery store Starbucks. The grocery store was pretty busy, which meant the Starbucks usually was too. On Saturday mornings, we usually had a perpetual line of customers from 6 am until noon without a single break.

But I'd say that one of the hardest parts of that job was staring at the pastry case all day and trying not to eat everything in it.

At the time, my favorites were the raspberry twist and the cranberry orange scone.
And the almond bear claw.
And the toffee almond bar.
And the cinnamon twist.
And the chocolate cream cheese muffin.
And the maple oat scone.

Can you see why this was a problem?

Not that we were allowed to eat a single crumb without paying for it. We couldn't even take home the pastries that were leftover at night; we just had to throw them away.

One night, I had a particularly strong craving for a maple oat scone. It was half an hour before closing, which was usually when we emptied the pastry case. As I was throwing away the leftover scones, I decided to take just a small bite. And right at that moment, a customer walked up to the register to order.

Of course, I didn't want her to see that I was eating something because not only was I not supposed to eat the pastries without paying for them, but also I wasn't supposed to eat period while I was working. So I figured the best thing to do was to try to swallow it as quickly as I could.

Bad idea.

I immediately started choking. The customer just stared at me, not sure what was going on. I needed water. I tried to grab a cup and ended up knocking over half the stack in the process. Finally, I was able to take a few sips and dislodge the scone from my esophagus.

By that point, my eyes were watering and my voice was hoarse. The customer looked horrified. I tried to act like I wasn't completely humiliated. "Sorry about that. What can I get for you?"

Despite this experience, I have no ill feelings toward maple oat scones. And since Starbucks stopped making them, I decided to make some for myself. The scone itself has the subtly sweet flavor of brown sugar, maple syrup, and oats, which pairs perfectly with the not-so-subtly-sweet maple glaze.

I'm not ashamed to say that I ate ~~two~~ three of these yesterday. Without incident.

Maple Oat Scones

Adapted from Eating Out Loud

For the scones:

1 & 1/2 cups flour

1/2 cup oatmeal, finely ground

1/2 cup oatmeal, coarsely ground

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup butter, chilled

1 egg

2 tablespoons maple syrup

1/2 cup heavy cream

For the glaze:

1 & 1/2 cups powdered sugar

3 tablespoons heavy cream

1 tablespoon maple syrup

2 teaspoons maple extract

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Combine the flour, oatmeal, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Cube the butter, and add it to the dry ingredients. Using a pastry blender (or clean hands), cut the butter into the dry ingredients until the pieces of butter are pea-sized or smaller.

2. In a separate bowl, combine the heavy cream, egg, and maple syrup. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and stir just until combined. Do not over mix. Remove the dough from the bowl and knead it until it holds together.

3. Pat the dough into a 7-inch circle on a lightly floured surface. Cut the circle into eight wedges, and carefully place the wedges onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Brush the tops and sides of the scones with an egg wash (1 egg + 1 tablespoon heavy cream). Bake for 20 minutes.

4. While the scones are baking, prepare the glaze by whisking all of the glaze ingredients together in a medium bowl. If the glaze is too thin, add more powdered sugar; if it's too thick, add more cream. Once the scones have cooled completely, spoon about one tablespoon of glaze over each scone. (If you don't wait for the scones to cool, they will absorb the glaze). Use the back of the spoon to spread the glaze evenly over each scone.

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Chocolate Layer Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and Chocolate Buttercream

2011-09-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Every year, I manage to ruin Stephen's birthday cake.

The first year we lived together, I decided to throw him a "surprise party". His family never made a big deal about his birthday when he was younger, so I wanted to give him the birthday party he never had. But, it wasn't really a party. It was just me, an apartment decorated with streamers and balloons, and a birthday cake.

I don't remember for sure, but I'm guessing Betty Crocker had more of a hand in making the cake than I did. What I do remember for sure is that I didn't level the cake layers. And because the bottom layer was so domed, the top layer broke into four pieces and began sliding down the sides of the cake. At that point I didn't really have time for a backup plan, so I stuck some candles on it and resigned myself to moping. Stephen thought it was hilarious.

I don't recall what happened the next year, but I'm sure it was horrifying. Probably so much so that I've completely blocked it from my memory.

By the third year we lived together, Betty and I had gone our separate ways. The cake I made from scratch was absolutely delicious. But by no means did that prevent me from promptly throwing it in the trash and buying a cake at Safeway when the top layer slid halfway off the bottom layer and wouldn't go back. (This time too-thin frosting was the culprit). The perfectionist in me couldn't bare to look at it.

Last year, I tried to prevent disaster by making a single-layer rectangular cake. And for the most part, I did. Except that the recipe called for finely chopped unsweetened baking chocolate. And since I neither had a food processor nor a decent knife, the cake ended up being speckled with little flakes of chocolate that I didn't chop well enough. Not a complete disaster, but not a success either.

This year, I took every possible precaution in order to guarantee my success. I lined the cake pans with parchment paper. I refrigerated the cake layers before assembling the cake. I made sure the frosting was the right consistency. I leveled each layer of cake. I refrigerated the cake again after applying a crumb coat. Most importantly, I was patient.

I'm generally a very patient person, but when it comes to baking I'm uncharacteristically impatient. I don't want to wait for things to chill for 30 minutes or cool completely or rise until doubled in volume. I just want to get to the part where I can eat it!

But this year I learned from my mistakes, and Stephen finally got the birthday cake he deserved. The layers stayed together. The frosting didn't have crumbs in it. The cake and frosting recipes were well-executed. (Although, I did almost forget to add the sugar when I was mixing the cake batter!). Best of all, Stephen claims it's the best cake he's ever had. In fact, after taking the first bite, he paused for several moments before asking me, "Have you ever eaten something so good it changed your life?"

As they say, patience is a virtue.

Chocolate Layer Cake
Adapted from Hershey's

2 cups sugar
1 & 3/4 cups flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 & 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 & 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup boiling water

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Coat three 8-inch cake pans with nonstick spray. Line the bottoms of the pans with parchment paper. Spray each pan again and coat with a thin layer of flour.

2. In a large bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla, and mix until everything is thoroughly incorporated. Stir in the boiling water; the batter will be very thin.

3. Divide the batter evenly among the prepared cake pans. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each layer comes out clean. Cool the layers in the pans for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

4. Wrap each layer in plastic wrap and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Make the cream cheese filling and chocolate buttercream (see recipes below). When you're ready to assemble the cake, remove the layers from the refrigerator. If needed, level each layer with a serrated knife or cake leveler.

5. Place the bottom layer on a cake plate. Evenly spread about 3/4 cup of the cream cheese filling over the cake, leaving about 1/2 inch margin around the edges. Top with the second layer and repeat. Finally, top with the third layer. Apply a thin layer of chocolate buttercream over the top and sides of the cake. This is only a crumb coat, so it doesn't need to be perfect. Refrigerate the cake for about 30 minutes.

6. Remove the cake from the refrigerator and apply a final layer of chocolate buttercream, as well as any desired embellishments.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 cup cream cheese
3/4 cup butter
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
6 cups powdered sugar

Beat the cream cheese and butter with an electric mixer at medium speed for about one minute. Add the vanilla and beat one minute more. Reduce the mixing speed to low, and add the powdered sugar about 1/2 cup at a time. Once the sugar is completely incorporated, beat at medium speed for about two minutes or until fluffy.

Chocolate Buttercream

1 cup butter (8 ounces)
1 & 3/4 cups cocoa powder (5 ounces)
6 cups powdered sugar (25 ounces)
1/2 cup + 3 tablespoons milk
2 teaspoons vanilla

In a large bowl, combine the powdered sugar and cocoa powder. Beat the butter with an electric mixer at medium speed for about one minute. Reduce the mixing speed to low, and add the sugar/cocoa mixture about 1/2 cup at a time. Halfway through this process, add the milk and vanilla. Once all of the ingredients are thoroughly incorporated, beat at medium speed for about two minutes or until fluffy.

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Pumpkin Spice Blossoms

2011-09-17T00:37:00.000-07:00

I lovelovelove fall.

I used to think this made me unique. I thought I was the only one who got overly excited about

cold sunny days
the pumpkin patch
leaves on the ground
back to school
pumpkin spice lattes
halloween decorations
pumpkin scented candles
wearing boots, scarves, and mittens
et cetera

Clearly, I was mistaken. As it turns out, everyone loves fall. At this point, I actually cringe on the inside when I hear people say how much they love it because it makes me feel like a cliché.

But secretly... I still think I love it more than you do.

This should explain why I got overly excited when I saw this at Target the other day:

My head almost exploded. And right next to this were all manner of Halloween sprinkles, cake mixes, and cookie cutters, so my head almost exploded again.

The reason I was at Target in the first place was to get these:

Here's what you need to know about Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses: Buy them. As soon as possible. If you hesitate, you will spend the next year haunted by what could have been. Trust me, I know.

I first found out these existed three years ago. It was mid-October, and I spotted a bag of them sitting on my classmate's desk. I had to have them.

The very next day I went to Safeway to buy some, and they were nowhere to be found. Not a problem. I went to Walgreens instead. Huuuge Halloween candy section, right? Yes. But no Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses. After subsequent trips to Rite Aid, Fred Meyer, Target, and even Wal-Mart (shudder)... I realized that I was too late. There weren't any more anywhere.

Ever since then, I don't mess around. I'm on the lookout for these while other people are still using their grills and wearing sunglasses. You have to play to win, people.

So, to recap: Pumpkin Spice Cookie Mix. Head exploding. Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

If you're thinking that I really do love fall more than you do, you're right. But that's not what I'm thinking. What I'm thinking is... Pumpkin Spice Blossoms!

Blossoms are typically a peanut butter cookie with a chocolate Hershey's Kiss pressed into the center like this. Or like this, if you use peanut butter cups instead of kisses.

I decided to do the same thing, only with pumpkin cookies and pumpkin kisses! Except I made the cookies way too big, and they look nothing like blossoms. It's the thought that counts, right?

This is the first time I've used a cookie mix in years, and although I'm not going to make a habit of it... I have to say I'm very impressed! These cookies are moist, chewy, and super flavorful. I love that in addition to the pumpkin, the flavor from the spices is also very prominent. Way to go, Betty. I wouldn't change anything about these!

Pumpkin Spice Blossoms

Betty Crocker's Pumpkin Spice Cookie Mix
1/2 cup butter
1 egg
2 tablespoons water
Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Prepare the cookie dough according to the directions on the cookie mix package.

2. Drop the dough, one tablespoon at a time, onto ungreased cookie sheets about two inches apart. Bake for 6 minutes. While the cookies are baking, unwrap the Hershey's Kisses.

3. Remove the half-baked cookies from the oven and gently press one kiss into the center of each cookie. Return the cookies to the oven and bake 5-7 minutes longer, or until the edges of the cookies are set. Allow the cookies to cool for about one minute before transferring them to a wire rack.

P.S. I think it goes without saying that neither Betty Crocker nor Hershey's paid me to write about their products. I'm not cool enough for that... yet.

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Fair Food Extravaganza 2011

2011-09-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

Stephen's birthday is tomorrow, and I was fully expecting to have a chocolate cake to show for it. That is, until Stephen decided he wanted to go to The Puyallup Fair for his birthday!

As we learned in my last post, I'm abnormally smart. I should probably be the president. And when you're smart enough to be the president, you're smart enough to know this:

krusty pup
+ crinkle fries
+ cow chip cookie
+ scone
+ elephant ear
≠ good day to also eat chocolate cake

Not to worry, though! Chocolate cake is happening next week during Stephen's Birthday: Extended Edition. In the meantime, I'll leave you with photographic evidence of the $42.25* and 8,923^† calories we ate today.

*Exact figure.
^†Approximate figure.

krusty pup!

crinkle fries!

substitute picture for cow chip cookie

+ adorable photobooth film strip!

cinnamon sugar elephant ear

+ evidence that Stephen was actually there!

P.S. I wanted to have a picture of everything we ate, but I was so excited to eat my Cow Chip Cookie that I completely forgot to take a picture of it!

P.P.S. The same thing happened with my Fisher Scone. Oops.

Pecan Sticky Buns

2011-09-08T22:37:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a bit nostalgic yesterday, and I thought it would be a good idea to read through all of my yearbooks from junior high and high school. It's been five years since I graduated, so it seemed like an appropriate time for that metaphorical walk down memory lane.

But it didn't take long for the nostalgia to fade and disturbance to take its place.

It took me six years to manage a decent yearbook picture. I know that's kind of a cliché, but seriously? In seventh grade, I wore a puffy vest and had my hair in an invisible ponytail.

By eighth grade, my fashion sense showed signs of improvement, but the glare from my glasses didn't do me any favors.

The next year, I was smart enough to wear contacts. Which, unfortunately, did nothing to help the fact that I had recently made the worst hair decision of my life. Yes... a perm. Need I go on?

I will concede that my senior picture turned out pretty well, but I'm thinking after six tries I was bound to get it right by accident, if for no other reason.

And the pictures are actually the least of my concerns. Most disturbing of all were the things people wrote to me.

In seventh grade, no less than five (yes, FIVE) people commented about the crush I had on one of my classmates. And mentioned him by name, no less. What?! It seems to me that what you write in someone's yearbook kind of sums up your relationship and/or how you think and feel about that person. This means that five (yes, FIVE) people defined me as the girl who had a crush on that guy. Excellent.

Seventh grade aside, the pervading theme throughout the comments in the rest of my yearbooks turned out to be how smart everyone thought I was. Which, I know, is a nice thing for everyone to say. But the way people wrote about me made me feel like I was some kind of abnormal phenomenon. Just because I could find a few derivatives and form grammatically correct sentences? I mean, it's not like I was coming up with stuff like this.

One person even offered me money if I graduated from college with a 4.0. (Which, if I'm so smart, seems like kind of a risky offer on his part, amirite?). Fortunately for him, I got a C in Math 126 during my first quarter at UW. Because I totally would have cashed in on that.

I also noticed, as I was browsing, that a few people wrote almost exactly the same thing every year. And not just the usual "I'm so glad we had math together! Thanks for helping me with my homework! Have a great summer! Call me!!!" (Of course, they didn't actually want me to call them).

No, the people I'm referring to wrote about the same specific memory in every yearbook comment. "I'm so glad we had math together this year! Remember when we sat next to each other in science three years ago? That was so fun! Have a great summer!" Or some variation thereof.

I take this to mean that either I didn't make a single lasting impression on any of these people since their one memory of me occurred, or that that semester in science meant a lot more to them than it did to me.

Which leads me to the sincerity continuum I discovered as I was reading all the things people wrote. And I think the ~~easiest~~ most entertaining way to illustrate that continuum would be with actual examples:

(least sincere)

call me

have a nice summer

you kick ass!

hey! it's been a fun year! thanks for being cool!

i hope your summer is awesome! have fun in the sun! maybe i will see you at olive garden again!

i'm sorry that we didn't get any classes together! maybe we will next year! i hope you have a swell summer!

thanks for helping me with math. see you in algebra 2.

spanish was fun. i really liked having you in class to help us do our work. have a great summer.

what's up! thanks for all the rides to my car on random days. you rock! have fun this summer!

good god you are so smart you are going to be like the president or something. and you are super nice. have fun.

(most sincere)

Yes, there were comments that were more heartfelt (and less entertaining) than those ones. But at least 75% of the things people wrote fall somewhere on this scale. Needless to say, I don't think I'm going to be feeling nostalgic again anytime soon.

As usual, none of this has anything to do with what I baked this week. Since it's officially September, I decided to get started on the list of fall recipes I've been anxiously waiting to try since last fall. First up: pecan sticky buns. Which turned out to be time-consuming, challenging, and very sticky... but completely worth it!

If you plan ahead for them to take at least 5 hours from start to finish, if you make sure you aren't out of eggs and that you have the right kind of yeast, if you're not impatient and you let the dough rise for as long as it's supposed to, and if you have a cake pan with tall enough sides to prevent the filling from bubbling over onto the bottom of your oven... then I'm sure everything will go smoothly for you.

Even if it doesn't, your whole house is going to smell amazing (cinnamon + caramel + maple + honey) for hours after you're done baking. And did I mention? These are worth the trouble.

Pecan Sticky Buns
Adapted from King Arthur Flour
Yield: 8 sticky buns

For the dough:

6 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon + 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/2 tablespoons instant yeast
1 & 3/4 cups lukewarm water
4 eggs
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup melted butter

For the filling:

2/3 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon

For the topping:

3 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/3 cup + 3 tablespoons brown sugar
2/3 cup pecan halves

Directions:

1. Combine all of the dough ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer in the order written. Mix at medium-low speed with the dough hook attachment until the dough comes together. Transfer the dough to a very large bowl (at least 6 quarts) coated with nonstick spray.

2. Cover the bowl, and allow the dough to rise at room temperature for two hours. Then, refrigerate the dough for at least one hour to make it easier to work with.

3. While the dough is chilling, make the filling and topping. For the filling, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. For the topping, combine the melted butter and syrup and pour it into a lightly greased 9-inch cake pan with at least 2-inch sides. Sprinkle the brown sugar over the butter and syrup, and scatter the nuts over the sugar.

4. When you're ready to assemble the sticky buns, remove the dough from the refrigerator. Spray your hands with nonstick spray and pull out 1/3 of the dough (22 ounces). Return the rest of the dough to the refrigerator to use another time.

5. Transfer the dough to a floured surface and roll it into a rectangle approximately 15 inches by 10 inches. Sprinkle the filling over the dough, leaving about a 1/2-inch margin around the edges. Gently press the filling into the dough. Starting with one of the long edges, roll the dough into a log. Cut the log into eight pieces and arrange them in the prepared cake pan. Gently press the buns down so they're touching each other.

6. Cover the pan and allow the buns to rise for about an hour, or until they're noticeably puffy. Preheat the oven to 350°F. After the buns have risen, uncover the pan, and bake the buns for 40-45 minutes, or until golden brown.

7. Remove the pan from the oven and invert it onto a plate. Lift off the pan, and scrape any remaining topping over the top of the buns. Serve immediately.

Homemade Oreos

2011-09-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

You might as well know that I was one of those kids who liked school. I'll even go as far as to say that I miss it sometimes. Not college--that I am glad to be done with. But I miss high school and elementary school. Even junior high.

My favorite part was always the first day of school. I loved going school supply shopping and organizing everything the minute we got home... even though it was only the first week of August and there was still a month before school started.

School clothes shopping was practically the highlight of my summer, and I usually had my outfit for the first day of school picked out weeks in advance. I remember in second grade the first day of school was delayed because the teachers were on strike. Every morning I would wake up and put on my first day of school dress... only to be crushed when my mom told me that school still wasn't starting.

I'm beginning to think that my love for the first days of school is what led me to believe I wanted to be a teacher. I kinda forgot about the part after September and October when everyone is counting down the days until winter break. And the part after winter break when everyone is counting down the days until summer.

For those of you who don't share my love of going back to school, I offer homemade oreos. They're the kind of thing that makes you forget about having to do homework again. And having to wake up before noon. And having to sit at a desk. Inside. Wearing footwear that isn't made out of rubber.

After my underwhelming experiences with homemade pop tarts and homemade hostess cupcakes, I was a bit skeptical about homemade oreos. And to be honest, they don't taste like the ones you buy at the store.

They are so. much. better. I promise they are worth the extra effort. Because the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

I learned that in teacher school. We had to take a whole class on clever little sayings.

Homemade Oreos

Adapted from Flour Child

For the cookies:

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 & 1/4 cups sugar

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

1 egg

For the filling:

1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

1/4 cup shortening

2 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line two to three baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and sugar. With the mixer running on low speed, add the butter and mix for about one minute. Add the egg and mix until the dough comes together and forms a ball.

3. Drop rounded teaspoons of batter (1/2 ounce portions by weight) onto the prepared baking sheets, spacing them about two inches apart. Gently flatten each ball of dough. Bake for 9 minutes. Allow the cookies to set on the baking sheets for about five minutes before transferring them to a cooling rack.

4. To make the filling: Beat together the butter and shortening in the bowl of a stand mixer at medium speed. Reduce the speed to low, and gradually add the powdered sugar. Once the sugar is incorporated, add the vanilla. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat for two to three minutes, or until light and fluffy.

5. Pair the cookies according to size and shape as best you can. Spoon the filling into a pastry bag fitted with a large round tip. (You could also use a large zipper storage bag with one of the corners snipped off). Pipe about a teaspoon of filling onto one of the cookies in each pair. Top with the other cookie, and press down gently to sandwich the filling.

Black Bottom Cupcakes

2011-08-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Dear People Who Make the Rules Regarding Use of the Trash Compactor:

You don't know me, but I think you would like me if you did. I'm very considerate. I read all those notes you post on the trash compactor about the do's and don'ts of throwing away garbage. And I do what they say.

I don't leave my bags of garbage on the ground., even though touching the handle on the door of the compactor makes me want to go take a bath in acid.

Not to mention that the door closes automatically, forcing me to choose between awkwardly holding the door open with one hand while I try to hoist my bags of trash into the compactor with the other hand, or allowing the door to rest against my shoulder so I can use two hands, which isn't really an option because I don't know what that brown stuff on the door is, but I do know I don't want it touching my shirt.

Also, I never attempt to put things that aren't considered "household garbage" in or around the compactor, even though this means I have to go out of my way to dispose of my sectional couches, old rusty swing sets, broken treadmills, and construction materials elsewhere.

But I had to draw the line somewhere. Yesterday there was a new note on the compactor. I don't remember the exact wording, but basically it said:

You can't use the compactor. We don't have to explain why. Also, you still aren't allowed to leave your trash next to the compactor. Yeah, we know that several people already did. But we also know that you have a conscience, so you're going to do the right thing. What we'd like you to do is take your three heavy bags of garbage to the dumpster on the other side of buildings 14 and 15. Oh, you don't know which buildings those are? Sorry. It was too much trouble for us to label them. When you finally find the dumpster, you might be a bit confused as to how you're supposed to put your trash inside it, considering that it's about 12 feet tall. If you look closely, you'll see there are ladders on the side of the dumpster. We're not sure how you're going to climb a ladder while holding a (did we mention heavy?) bag of garbage, but we're sure you'll figure it out.

Unfortunately, People Who Make the Rules Regarding Use of the Trash Compactor, you didn't realize that one of my garbage bags was full of used cat litter, and you therefore overestimated the influence of my conscience on my decision making in this situation. You might want to hold your breath when you dispose of that bag, along with the fifty other bags left by people without consciences.

Sincerely,
Person Who Does the Right Thing, But Only Within Reason

You may be wondering what this has to do with Black Bottom Cupcakes. And the answer is... nothing.

Black Bottom Cupcakes have nothing to do with dumpsters or bags of used cat litter and everything to do with chocolate and cream cheese. Moist chocolate cake with rich cream cheese filling baked in the middle, and a few chocolate chips thrown in for good measure. You could certainly frost these, but I think they are delicious on their own, and they taste even better slightly chilled.

Black Bottom Cupcakes
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

For the cream cheese filling:

8 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
2 ounces chocolate chips (about 1/3 cup)

For the cupcakes:

1 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar, packed
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 12-cup muffin tin or line with paper liners.

2. Prepare the filling. Using an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese, granulated sugar, and egg until smooth. Stir in the chocolate chips.

3. Sift together the flour, brown sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl. I don't usually sift dry ingredients, but in this case it's necessary because the brown sugar will form lumps with the cocoa powder and flour.

4. In a separate bowl, combine the water, vegetable oil, vinegar, and vanilla. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and stir just until the batter is smooth. Do not overmix.

5. Divide the batter among the muffin cups, filling each about 2/3 of the way. Add 1-2 tablespoons of the cream cheese filling to each cup. This will fill the cups almost completely.

6. Bake for 25 minutes, or until the filling turns slightly golden and the tops of the cupcakes spring back when pressed gently.

S'more Brownies

2011-08-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

I know. I made a huge deal about breaking up with summer last week, and this week I'm bandying about pictures of s'more brownies. I may be a hypocrite, but I'm a hypocrite with brownies... so I think I'm still coming out ahead.

The best thing about s'more brownies is that they're almost as easy as making regular s'mores. Especially if you use a boxed brownie mix. Which I'm not saying I did... but I'm also not saying I didn't. So, I guess I'm a noncommittal hypocrite. But if you have the time, I recommend using my favorite brownie recipe. Once you have the brownies taken care of, the rest will take care of itself. As long as you can open a bag of marshmallows and operate a broiler. If you can't... then I guess that makes me a judgmental, noncomittal hypocrite.

Before you make these brownies, you should be aware that there are at least two rules for eating them:

You must wait until they are completely cool before you cut them. As a strong proponent of eating brownies while they're still warm, I hate asking you to do this. But if you don't, you're going to end up with a sticky marshmallow-y mess. Nobody wants that. I think a good compromise here would be to cut a small, innocuous piece out of the corner for yourself while they're still warm. No one has to know.
After you cut them, you must reheat the one (or two?) you're going to eat in the microwave, or preferably the toaster oven. In order for these to taste like actual s'mores, the marshmallow has to have a crispy shell and a gooey inside. Obviously.

Those are the facts of life, s'more brownie edition. I think you can handle it.

S'more Brownies

Adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

For the graham cracker crust:

3 cups graham cracker crumbs (about 24 graham crackers)

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted

For the brownies:

Your favorite brownie recipe, or mine

For the topping:

1 bag mini marshmallows

Additional graham crackers, broken into pieces

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 9x13-inch baking pan with nonstick spray. Line the pan with two pieces of aluminum foil placed perpendicularly, one on top of the other. Allow the foil to hang over the pan about two inches on each side. Coat the foil with nonstick spray.

2. In a medium bowl, combine the graham crackers crumbs, granulated sugar, and salt. Stir in the melted butter with a spatula, making sure that all of the crumbs are moistened. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan, and use a spatula to press the crumbs into an even layer. Bake the crust for 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

3. While the crust is baking, prepare your chosen brownie recipe. Once the crust is finished baking, pour the brownie batter over the crust, and spread it into an even layer. Bake according to your brownie recipe's directions.

4. As soon as the brownies are finished baking, switch the oven to broil. Pour the mini marshmallows on top of the brownies and spread them into an even layer. Place the pan back in the oven for one to two minutes. Do not walk away from the oven; the marshmallows will go from toasted to burnt in a matter of seconds, so make sure you pull the pan back out as soon as the marshmallows are slightly charred.

5. Immediately after removing the pan from the oven, gently press the additional graham cracker pieces into the marshmallow layer. Cool the brownies completely before cutting into squares.

Almond Joy Bars

2011-08-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer,

I'm giving up on you.

Don't feign surprise... you knew this was coming. How many times did you think you could get away with being partly cloudy? How many days of scattered showers did you think I was going to put up with?

I tried to be understanding. I didn't give you a hard time when June felt suspiciously like March. I was optimistic all through July, waiting for the day that you would finally be there for me. I even let myself start to believe in you again last week when I caught a small glimpse of the Summer I've been waiting nine months for.

But now I realize that all this time you've just been leading me on. Well, guess what? I'm not waiting around for you anymore--I'm moving on. Don't bother trying to stop me. I've already started daydreaming about The Puyallup Fair and Pumpkin Spice Lattés. I'm planning what I'm going to bake for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm even shopping for rainboots. I'm sorry, Summer, but it's over between us.

Sincerely,
Allix

P.S. Don't think you can talk your way out of this. I have proof.

P.P.S. Please accept these Almond Joy Bars as a parting gift. I'd been waiting to make them until you finally came around, but I couldn't wait forever.

Almond Joy Bars
Adapted from And Now for Something Completely Delicious and Betty Crocker

For the bars:

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups sugar (13.5 ounces)
4 eggs
2 teaspoons almond extract
5 cups flour (21.2 ounces)
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups flaked coconut (8 ounces) + additional for topping

For the frosting:

2 cups sugar (13.5 ounces)
1 cup baking cocoa (2.8 ounces)
1 cup milk
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla
3 cups powdered sugar (12.7 ounces)

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Grease and flour a 12x17 inch sheet pan.

2. Combine the flour, salt, and baking soda in a medium bowl. In a separate bowl, cream the butter with an electric mixer for about one minute. Gradually add the sugar, and continue creaming until light and fluffy, about two minutes more. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Add the almond extract and mix to combine. Gradually add the dry ingredients, and continue mixing just until incorporated. Stir in the coconut.

3. Transfer the dough to the prepared pan. Spray a piece of wax paper with nonstick spray, and use it to spread the dough evenly to the edges of the pan. You may need to re-spray the paper a few times. Use a toothpick to poke holes all over the surface of the dough; this will prevent air bubbles from forming.

4. Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until the bars just begin to brown. A toothpick inserted into the center should come out clean. Cool completely before frosting.

5. To make the frosting: In a medium saucepan, combine the sugar, cocoa, milk, butter, corn syrup, and salt. Heat the mixture until it begins to boil, stirring frequently. Boil for three minutes, then remove the pan from the heat and cool for 45 minutes. Transfer the mixture to the bowl of a stand mixer. With the mixer on low speed, gradually add the powdered sugar. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. Once all the powdered sugar is incorporated, add the vanilla and mix for two minutes at medium speed.

6. Spread the frosting evenly over the cooled bars, and sprinkle with the additional coconut. Allow the frosting to set for about 10 minutes before slicing into bars.

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever

2011-08-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

Sooo.

Remember that time I said my life was complete because I had found the perfect guy, the perfect brownie recipe, and the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe? Well, it turns out I was wrong about one of those things.

But don't worry... It's the chocolate chip cookies. Stephen's still pretty perfect.

After I made what will now be referred to as the second best chocolate chip cookies ever, I didn't feel the need to try any other chocolate chip cookie recipes. I was letting sleeping dogs lie... because I know that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. And any other cliché that applies.

But lately, since I haven't had as many bricks of cash lying around as usual, I've only been able to bake things for which I already have all the ingredients. And that pretty much limits me to chocolate chip cookies.

Last week, I tried to adapt a recipe from King Arthur Flour, which I was going to share with you... but it didn't go exactly as planned:

So this week, I turned to the always trustworthy Alton Brown. And as usual, he did not disappoint. His recipe gave me everything I've ever wanted in a chocolate chip cookie but never thought I could produce at home. They're perfectly crispy on the outside, perfectly chewy on the inside, and they have the perfect ratio of white to brown sugar.

They are the best chocolate chip cookies ever... for real this time.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
Adapted from Alton Brown

2 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 egg yolks, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sugars, butter, egg yolks, and vanilla extract. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and mix together just until completely combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.

3. For large cookies, scoop the dough into 1/4 cup portions and space about two inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. For smaller cookies, scoop the dough into portions of about two tablespoons.

4. Bake for 15-17 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheets for about two minutes before transferring to a wire rack.

After the cookies are cool, you might also want to do this:

Double Chocolate Chip Muffins

2011-07-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

Netflix is slowly taking over my life.

It started out innocently enough with two seasons of 24. Halfway through the third season, I realized that I'd rather stab myself in the eye than endure another forty-three minutes of Jack Bauer almost dying. And the Allstate guy? Just plain distracting.

So, I moved on to Grey's Anatomy. I was sucked in immediately, and I managed to cram seven years of Meredith and McDreamy into six short weeks. Not to mention the same aerial shot of I-5 and the Seattle skyline over and over... and over.

My current obsession is Desperate Housewives. I've already been warned that this show spirals downward fairly quickly, but for now I can't stop watching it. I'm enthralled by the suicides, the infidelity, the arson, the murders, the blackmail, the alcoholism, the hostage situations... and of course, the muffins.

Anytime someone new moves onto Wisteria Lane, Bree Van de Kamp brings them muffins in a cute little basket. Actually, now that I think of it, any time Bree Van de Kamp goes to anyone's house for any reason, she brings them muffins. In a cute. little. basket.

Why hasn't this ever happened to me? We moved into our condo almost a year ago, and we have yet to receive a single muffin. Which is why I've had to resort to making my own. And you can bet that if I'm going to make muffins, I'm not going to mess around with blueberries or poppy seeds. My philosophy regarding muffins is that they should be as close to cupcakes as possible, while still being passable for breakfast food.

And so, dear readers, I bring you double chocolate chip muffins. You're just going to have to imagine the cute little basket.

Double Chocolate Chip Muffins
Adapted from Alton Brown

2 cups all-purpose flour (9.5 oz)
3/4 cup cocoa powder (3.25 oz)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/4 cups sugar (9.5 oz)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, and line a muffin tin with paper liners. Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk together the sugar, butter, eggs, buttermilk, and vanilla extract. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, and whisk just until the batter comes together. Do not overmix; the batter does not have to be smooth. Stir in the chocolate chips.

3. Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups. Each cup should be completely full.

4. Bake on the center oven rack for 18-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center muffins comes out clean. Immediately turn the muffins onto their sides to allow steam to escape from the pan. This will prevent the bottoms of the muffins from getting mushy.

Funfetti Whoopie Pies

2011-07-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

Because nothing says, "Happy Belated 1st Birthday!" like funfetti.

That's right. If you read my last post, you're aware that my blog is now approximately 13 months old. As promised, I've made something to celebrate the occasion; better late than never, right? Think about this: There are 12 months in a year. A dozen months, you might say. And everyone knows that a baker's dozen is 13. And my blog is 13 months old. So really my belatedness is kind of fitting, isn't it?

Nevermind. Back to the whoopie pies.

What's the deal with funfetti? It's really kind of mysterious. You'd think it's just vanilla cake with little blotches of color, BUT IT'S NOT. It's better somehow. And what are those blotches of color, anyway? I used sprinkles in this recipe, but I really think there's more to it than that. Andanotherthing! What distinguishes funfetti from rainbow chip?

Suspicious. I want answers.

In true nonpareil baker style, the making of these whoopie pies did not go smoothly. The batter spread way more than I expected, and the end result was disastrously huge un-whoopie-pie-like blobs. But I wasn't about to let that ruin my blog's birthday party, so I performed some surgery and got everything under control. They're not perfect, but they're much cuter than what was coming out of my oven a year ago.

Also, in case it doesn't go without saying, these are ridiculously delicious. You're going to have to try really hard not to eat a bunch of cake batter... and frosting... and the edges that you have to cut off during whoopie pie surgery... and a whole whoopie pie on top of all that. It doesn't do your stomach any favors. Especially if you do all of the above, and then try to compensate by running 3 miles. It just makes things worse.

On another note, did you notice that the photos in this post are ridiculously better than any of the other photos I've posted on my blog? You might think it's because eating funfetti whoopie pies instantly makes you better at photography. But you would be wrong. What's really happening here is that my friend Effie is an amazing photographer (without the help of whoopie pies), and she was kind enough to take a few pictures for me! Of course, in return I gave her the priceless gift of a whoopie pie sugar coma. No big deal. If you want to check out more of her photos, I encourage you to visit her blog or facebook page! Thanks again, Effie!

Also, do yourself a favor and make some whoopie pies. You could use more sprinkles in your life.

Funfetti Whoopie Pies
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

1 cup unsalted butter
1 & 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 & 1/2 cups sugar
3 eggs
4 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup milk
1/2 cup rainbow sprinkles, like these

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter, salt, vanilla, baking powder, and sugar at medium speed for 1-2 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Reduce the mixing speed to low, and alternate adding the flour and milk, beginning and ending with the flour. Mix just until combined. Add the rainbow sprinkles, and continue mixing about 30 seconds more.

3. Drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheets in portions of about two tablespoons. Wet your fingers, and flatten each mound of dough into a circle about three inches across. Leave at least two inches between each mound of dough to allow room for them to expand. I dropped the dough in 1/4 cup portions as suggested by the original recipe, but clearly that was way too much!

4. Bake for 11 minutes or until the cakes are barely set on top, rotating the pans halfway through the baking time. The tops will not begin to brown at all. Cool on the pan for five minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely before frosting.

Vanilla Funfetti Buttercream

1 cup butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla
5 cups powdered sugar (20 ounces)
2 tablespoons milk
1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles

Directions:

Cream the butter, salt, and vanilla in a stand mixer at medium speed for about 1 minute. Reduce the speed to low, and gradually add the powdered sugar. Once the sugar is incorporated, add the milk. Increase the speed to medium and beat for about 30 seconds. Stop the mixer, add the rainbow sprinkles, then continue beating at medium speed for 1-2 minutes.

To assemble:

Pair up the cakes according to size. It doesn't have to be perfect, but try to match them as closely as possible. Spoon about 1/4 cup of frosting onto one cake in each pair. Place the unfrosted cakes on top of the frosted ones and press down gently to sandwich the frosting. I got about 9 whoopie pies in all, but you should get more if you scoop the dough into smaller portions.

Depressing News, Ramblings of a Baked Good, A Rant About Catch Phrases, Random Latin Words, Confessions of The Nonpareil Baker, A Top Ten List, and The Longest Post Title Ever

2011-06-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for some seriously depressing news? Like... seriously.

I missed my blog's first birthday. Whaaat?

I had big plans for this momentous occasion. Nonpareil plans, if you will. I was going to bake something that would say,

"Hey, Allix. Good job. You started a blog. And you kept doing it for a whole year. And it helped you change your life. You don't hate your job anymore. And your boyfriend likes you more because you discovered the recipe for the best chocolate chip cookies ever. And your dad likes you more because you made him monster cookies twice. And your sister likes you more because you made her red velvet cupcakes on her birthday. And your mom likes you more because you made her butter pecan cake with extra frosting. And your coworkers like you more because you brought them sugar cookie bars and peanut butter brownies. Even the waiter at the mexican restaurant whoyourfamilyisfriendswithbecausetheyeatstheresooften likes you more because you made him peanut butter surprise cookies. And on top of all that, you like your life more because you make cinnamon rolls and brownies and cupcakes and cookies all the time. And you get to eat them right after they come out of the oven. And no one can tell you that you're not allowed to lick the batter off of every. last. spoon. "

I know. That's kind of a lot for one baked good to say. But it was going to happen. And somehow I missed it. FAIL.

On a side note, don't you hate it when a word or phrase is momentarily trendy, and then people latch onto it and use it ALL THE TIME?

Exempli gratia:

"I wet my pants when I was up to bat at my little league baseball game and ran away crying...FAIL."
"I put a 1/2 cup of salt in a batch of chocolate chip cookies instead of a 1/2 teaspoon... FAIL."
"I left a bag of miniature Reese's on my bedroom floor, and my dog ate the whole bag, including the wrappers... FAIL."

Other favorites: "not gonna lie," "just sayin'," and "pretty sure."

Uggghhh. Anyway, all of those things really happened to me. See what's happening here? We're getting to know each other. Love it.

Eew. That's another one.

So, this post was only supposed to be about my extreme disappointment in my inattentiveness to this blog's milestones. But somehow I ended up using Latin words and ranting about catch phrases. Just know that a belated birthday post is imminent. And whatever I decide to make will convey everything written in that block quote above. Prepare yourself.

Until then, I recommend that you pass the time by trying one of my ten favorite recipes from the past year (listed chronologically, not preferentially):

1. Yeast Raised Doughnuts

2. Sugar Cookie Bars

3. Pumpkin Scones

4. Cranberry Bliss Bars

5. Chewy Brownies

6. The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever

7. Cinna-Buns

8. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cup Cookies

9. Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Brownies

10. Monster Cookies

Peanut Butter Brownies

2011-06-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

Let's be real. I don't need to convince you that these brownies need to become a part of your life. They're brownies... with peanut butter filling swirled generously throughout. That should be reason enough for you to re-prioritize your day in order to make these brownies happen.

But maybe you're particularly set in your non-brownie ways. In which case, you should also know that these brownies would probably make you feel better if the City of Puyallup Photo Enforcement Program, which is inexplicably located in Cincinnati, sent you a $124 ticket for failing to stop c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y before making a right turn at a red light.

Probably. I'm extrapolating a bit here.

Do yourself a favor: make these brownies. Cut them into squares that are a little too big. Eat at least two (corner pieces, of course). Give the rest to people you like.

I think I should be a life coach.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownies
Adapted from America's Test Kitchen and Brown Eyed Baker

For the brownies:

1/3 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons boiling water
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped finely
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 large eggs + 2 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 & 1/2 cups sugar
1 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon salt

For the peanut butter filling:

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup powdered sugar
1 & 1/2 cups peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare the brownie batter, following the recipe for Chewy Brownies.

2. Combine all of the peanut butter filling ingredients in a medium bowl, and whisk them together until completely combined. Drop spoonfuls of the filling all over the brownie batter, and use a butter knife to swirl the chocolate and peanut butter together. You might not need all of the filling; use as much or as little as you prefer.

3. Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out mostly clean, perhaps with a few moist crumbs sticking to it. Allow the brownies to cool for at least 20 minutes before cutting them into squares.

I'm telling you... everyone wants some of this.

Chocolate Sheet Cake with Fudgy Chocolate Pecan Frosting

2011-06-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of a sucker for recipes titled "The Best [insert food here] Ever."

I always think to myself... This is it. This person has discovered the secret to making the best [whatever] ever. How lucky am I to have stumbled across this recipe in all the vastness of the world wide web? I have to make this. I have to try the best [whatever] ever.

Usually, I'm underwhelmed. Not because the [whatever] isn't delicious. It just doesn't live up to the hype.

And actually, this doesn't just apply to food. Other overhyped things that my life has not been changed by include: Avatar, In-N-Out Burger, Beyonce's Single Ladies video, and Furbies.

Just kidding about the Furbies. But seriously, how annoying were those?

Pioneer Woman calls this "The Best Chocolate Sheet Cake Ever." I don't know if I'm ready to jump on that bandwagon, but I do have a lot of nice things to say about it. You probably won't have to go to the store to buy ingredients. You won't have to lift your ridiculously heavy KitchenAid mixer onto the counter. You won't have to wash every bowl and utensil you own. And you will have plenty of time leftover to mentally prepare yourself for two hours of Ashley wondering whether or not "they're here for her" and talking about the "dot dot dot" at the end of her and Bentley's relationship.

Not to mention that this cake is actually really delicious. Especially the frosting.

Wait. Did I talk about the Bachelorette last week too? I think it's time for me to reevaluate the direction my life is heading.

The Best Chocolate Sheet Cake Ever
Adapted from The Pioneer Woman

For the cake:
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 cup butter
1 cup boiling water
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla

For the frosting:

1/2 cup pecans, finely chopped
1/2 cup + 6 tablespoons butter
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
6 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
14 ounces powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Combine the flour, sugar, and salt in a medium bowl.

3. Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the cocoa powder, and stir to combine. Add the boiling water, and allow the mixture to boil for 30 seconds. Pour the chocolate mixture over the flour mixture, and stir just until combined.

4. In a measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk, eggs, baking soda, and vanilla. Add this mixture to the batter, and stir until completely combined. Pour the batter into a 13x18 inch pan and bake for 20 minutes.

5. While the cake is baking, make the frosting. Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the cocoa powder, and stir to combine. Remove the pan from the heat, and pour the mixture into a mixing bowl. Add the milk, vanilla, and powdered sugar to the chocolate mixture, and stir until completely combined. Stir in the chopped pecans.

6. Pour the frosting over the warm cake, and use a spatula to spread it evenly over the entire surface.

Dessert Pizza

2011-06-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

Do. not. make. this.

You're a sensible person, right? A sensible person wouldn't make something like this, knowing full well that she won't have the self-control to not eat half of it in one sitting while watching The Bachelorette with a pathetic amount of interest.

But who are we kidding? You're going to make this. Because it's dessert pizza. Yes. Dessert and pizza together. I'm doing big things.

Most of the recipes that came up when I searched for a dessert pizza recipe included things like bananas and strawberries and goat cheese. Umm, no. That's not dessert... that's practically a salad.

When I think of dessert pizza, I think of the Godfather's Pizza dinner buffet that my mom used to take my sister and I to every Tuesday night. We had a ritual. First we got our sodas, and then my mom got her salad from the salad bar, adding in whatever my sister and I wanted to steal off her plate (I liked the sunflower seeds, while my sister preferred those weird little corn-on-the-cob things). Next came cheese pizza, which at that point was the only kind of pizza I ate. Then, finally, it was time for dessert pizza. Chewy pizza crust, melted butter, cinnamon, and crunchy brown sugar streusel, all drizzled with sweet vanilla icing. It really doesn't get any better than that.

Can you see why I'm repulsed that anyone would try to put fruit on a dessert pizza?

I tried to replicate this dessert pizza as faithfully as possible, and the topping was definitely a win. The crust however, was not as soft and chewy as I wanted it to be. So... if anyone has a good pizza dough recipe for me, I suppose I could bring myself to try this recipe again. For authenticity's sake.

Have we established yet that I'm not a sensible person?

Dessert Pizza
Adapted from King Arthur Flour and Serious Eats

For the pizza dough:

1 packet (2 & 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
1 cup lukewarm water
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 & 1/4 teaspoons salt

For the topping:

1/4 cup melted butter
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 & 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup cold butter, cubed

For the icing:

2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Dissolve the yeast in 2 tablespoons of the lukewarm water with a pinch of sugar. Allow the mixture to sit at room temperature fora bout 15 minutes, or until the mixture bubbles and becomes frothy.

2. Combine the dissolved yeast with the remaining dough ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook attachment. Knead at medium speed for 4-5 minutes. The dough should clear the sides of the bowl, but may still be sticking a bit at the bottom. The dough will be sticky and look fairly rough.

3. Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, and cover it with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise for about 90 minutes, or until it's very puffy and approximately doubled in volume.

4. Shape the dough into a rough oval, but do not pat it flat. Cover the dough with lightly greased plastic wrap, and allow it to rest for 15 minutes.

5. Lightly grease a 12x17 inch pan with nonstick spray, and place the dough in the prepared pan. Press the dough over the bottom of the pan, stretching it toward the edges. If it shrinks back, allow it to rest for about 15 minutes, then continue stretching. Repeat this process until you can stretch the dough to the edges of the pan.

6. Cover the dough, and allow it to rise for about 90 minutes, or until it is noticeably puffy. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

7. Bake the crust on the bottom oven rack for about 7 minutes, or until the edges just begin to brown.

8. While the crust is baking, prepare the streusel. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and both sugars. Using a fork or a pastry blender, integrate the cold butter throughout the flour and sugar, until the mixture looks like wet sand and no large chunks of butter remain.

9. Combine the melted butter and cinnamon, and spread it over the partially-baked crust with a pastry brush. Sprinkle the streusel evenly over the top.

10. Bake for 7-10 minutes, or until the streusel is golden brown.

11. While the pizza is baking, prepare the vanilla icing. Stir together the powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla in a small bowl. If the icing is too thin, add additional powdered sugar one tablespoon at a time. If the icing is too thick, add additional milk one tablespoon at a time.

12. Drizzle the pizza with the vanilla icing. Slice and serve immediately. Try to be sensible. It's hard, I know.

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

2011-05-27T23:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my sister's birthday. Have you met my sister? She does things like this:

And also this:

Not to mention this:

Someone who does these things clearly deserves red velvet cupcakes on her birthday.

I'm actually having a pretty hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that my sister is twenty years old now. It seems like just yesterday that I was forcing her to throw away her baby blanket, scaring her into believing that we were going to "the machine store", and (mistakenly) telling her that she was "a disease that kills everyone." As my mom always said--friends come and go, but sisters are forever.

Which, in retrospect, sounds more like a threat than a consolation.

I'm hoping these cupcakes can make amends for all of those "sisterly" things I did. What do you say, Kelsii? Shall we let bygones be bygones? You know, on second thought, maybe we should just call it even. I mean, there was that whole bloody nose incident AND the time you said that I was "too fat for the mosquitos to bite." Not to mention you pulling my hair and calling me "Alla" for years on end.

Anyway, think it over. Happy birthday!

Red Velvet Cupcakes

Adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 egg

2 & 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tablespoons red food coloring

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 cup + 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 & 1/2 teaspoons white vinegar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake pan with paper liners. In a small bowl, combine the vanilla extract, food coloring, and cocoa powder. Set aside.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter at medium speed for about one minute. Gradually add the sugar, and continue creaming for about two minutes, until light and fluffy. Add the egg, and increase the mixer speed to high. Scrape the bowl, and continue mixing one minute more.

3. Add the cocoa mixture to the batter and mix at medium speed for about 30 seconds. Scrape the sides of the bowl, and continue mixing until the cocoa is completely incorporated.

4. Reduce the mixer speed to low, and add half of the buttermilk. Once the buttermilk is incorporated, add half of the flour. Repeat this process with the remaining buttermilk and flour. Increase the mixer speed to medium and mix until smooth.

5. Once the batter is smooth, reduce the mixer speed to low and add the salt, baking soda, and vinegar. Increase the speed to medium, and mix about one minute more, or until the batter is smooth.

6. Divide the batter evenly among the cupcake liners and bake for 18-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center cupcake comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 cup cream cheese

13 tablespoons unsalted butter

1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract

6 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter at medium speed for about two minutes.

2. Add the vanilla, and beat about one minute more.

3. Reduce the mixer speed to low, and add the powdered about 1 cup at a time. Once all of the sugar is incorporated, increase the mixer speed to medium and beat for about two minutes.

Snickerdoodles with Cinnamon Buttercream

2011-05-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

Things that, I'm fairly certain, taste disgusting when raw and/or unaccompanied:

flour
butter
vanilla extract
eggs
salt
baking soda
cinnamon

Things that taste so good, I'm fairly certain I might die:

snickerdoodle cookie dough
snickerdoodle cookie dough rolled in cinnamon sugar
warm snickerdoodle cookies
cooled snickerdoodle cookies
snickerdoodle cookies with cinnamon frosting

I tried not to notice, but I think I ate seven of these cookies in one day. The good news? I've finally found something that's made me forget about chocolate and peanut butter. The bad news is that now all I can think about is cinnamon and sugar. And since it's inappropriate to eat snickerdoodles for every meal (it is, right?), cinnamon sugar toast has become a new staple in my diet. Is there a support group for this kind of thing?

Snickerdoodles

Adapted from And Now for Something Completely Delicious

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

2 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 & 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line 3-4 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, cream the butter at medium-high speed with an electric mixer for about one minute. Add the brown sugar, and continue creaming until light and fluffy, about one minute more. Add the eggs, and continue mixing and totally incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl with a spatula as necessary.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, salt, and cream of tartar. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture, mixing at low speed until most of the flour is incorporated. Increase the mixer speed to medium, and continue mixing about 30 seconds more.

4. Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Portion the cookie dough into tablespoon-sized balls, and roll each ball in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Place the balls on the prepared cookie sheets about two inches apart.

5. Bake for 7-9 minutes, or until light golden brown. Cool on a wire rack.

Cinnamon Frosting

1 cup butter

20 ounces powdered sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter at medium speed for about two minutes. Reduce the mixer to low speed, and add about half of the powdered sugar.

2. Once most of the sugar is incorporated, add the salt, milk, and vanilla. Continue mixing at low speed, and add the other half of the powdered sugar.

3. Once most of the sugar is incorporated, add the cinnamon. Increase the mixer speed to medium, and beat the frosting for about two minutes, or until light and fluffy. Spread onto the cooled cookies with a knife or spatula.

Sugar Cookie Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream

2011-05-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of a cake snob.

I think I mentioned before that I didn't even like cake until very recently. Now that I work at a cupcake shop, liking cake kind of comes naturally. But I'm still very Goldilocks about it all.

This cake is too something, that cake is too something else. These cupcakes? Too spongy. I prefer cake that is dense and full of body. The sponginess, combined with the overpowering vanilla-ness of the "very vanilla" frosting just didn't work for me.

On a positive note, I was really happy with how my decorating turned out. Which, as you may recall, is not always the case. Then again, I can't think of anything that wouldn't be made more adorable by the addition of a few rainbow nonpareils. And who can resist those dubiously-shaped circus animal cookies? Precious.

Sugar Cookie Cupcakes
Adapted from Baked Perfection

1 cup butter, softened
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups sour cream

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.

2. Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter for about one minute at medium speed. With the mixer running, gradually add the sugar, and continue beating until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes more. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each and scraping the bowl as needed. Add the vanilla, and mix until incorporated.

4. With the mixer on low speed, alternately add the dry ingredients and the sour cream, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Scrape the bowl to ensure that all ingredients are fully incorporated into the batter.

5. Scoop 1/4 cup of batter into each muffin cup. Bake for 22-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean.

Very Vanilla Frosting
Adapted from Baked Perfection

1 cup butter, softened
6 cups powdered sugar
pinch of salt
3 tablespoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons milk

1. In a large bowl, cream the butter for about 1 minute. Add the vanilla and salt, and continue creaming about 30 seconds more.

2. Gradually add the powdered sugar, mixing at low speed until combined. Add the milk 1 tablespoon at a time until it reaches your desired consistency. Increase the mixing speed to medium, and beat for about 1-2 minutes.

I highly recommend that you click over and check out the miniature cupcake toppers that Risa at Baked Perfection used for her sugar cookie cupcakes. So adorable!

Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookie Bars

2011-04-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

These are brownies that taste like chocolate chip cookies.

Or, they're chocolate chip cookies that look like brownies.

You could also say that they're chocolate chip pecan blondies.

Whatever you call them, they are dense, chewy, chocolate-y, and nutty. You're going to need a glass of milk.

Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookie Bars
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

10 & 2/3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 cups + 2 tablespoons brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 eggs
2 & 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
2 & 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup pecans, chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly coat a 9x13" pan with nonstick spray.

2. Combine the butter and brown sugar in a large bowl. Add the salt and vanilla, and mix until combined. If the mixture is hot to the touch, allow it to cool slightly.

3. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Scrape the side of the bowl midway through to ensure that all of the ingredients are thoroughly combined. Stir in the flour and baking powder.

4. Stir in the chocolate chips and pecans, making sure they are evenly distributed.

5. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, and use a spatula to spread it toward the edges. Smooth the top as much as possible.

6. Bake the bars for 30-32 minutes, until the top is shiny and golden. The center will be slightly underbaked, but it will solidify as the bars cool. Use a spatula to press down the edges and any other areas that puffed up during baking.

7. If you prefer a chewy texture, wrap the bars tightly and allow them to cool overnight before cutting. But if you enjoy the taste of gooey chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven, allow the bars to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting yourself a piece. Or two.

Monster Cookies, or How I Realized I Never Get Tired of Peanut Butter

2011-04-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

I seem to be stuck in a rut. Several, actually.

An addictive TV show rut. An embarrassing musical preference rut. A bestpizzaever rut. And most of all, a peanut butter rut.

Every time I think about baking something, my mind goes directly to peanut butter. It all started with those ridiculous peanut butter cup cookies. Then there were the life-changing peanut butter cookie dough brownies. And this week? Cookies containing three times as much peanut butter as they do flour.

To top it all off, this monster cookie recipe is nearly identical to the one I posted in November. Despite having hundreds of recipes bookmarked (including everything from cream puffs to carrot cake), I somehow managed to make the same thing twice within six months.

Life is so hard sometimes.

Monster Cookies
Adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

3 eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon corn syrup
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 & 1/2 cups peanut butter
4 & 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1 & 1/2 cups m&m's

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line several cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, combine the eggs, sugars, vanilla, corn syrup, baking soda, and salt with an electric mixer. Add the butter and peanut butter, and continue mixing until smooth. Stir in the oats and flour, followed by the chocolate chips and m&m's.

3. Scoop the dough into approximate 1/4 cup portions, and place about 2 inches apart on the prepared cookie sheets. Bake for 10-14 minutes, or until lightly browned. Cool on a wire rack.

Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Brownies

2011-04-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

Does it surprise you that I neurotically plan out what I'm going to bake each week... sometimes months in advance? I'm guessing not.

This week I was supposed to be making dessert pizza. Two words that should always be together. I've actually been planning to make it since last July, but it keeps getting pushed back by recipes that demand to be made immediately.

Like this one. As soon as I saw this recipe on Confessions of a Cookbook Queen, I became powerless against it. I thought about it constantly over the next three days. I even thought about it while I was exercising, which I'm sure somehow negated all the calories I burned.

Essentially, these brownies combine everything that is good. Chocolate and peanut butter. Brownies and cookies. Salty and sweet.

Plus, we all know that the primary reason for baking is to use as many utensils as possible and shamelessly lick the residual batter off of each and every one. And in my experience, nothing can really compete with brownie batter or cookie dough. Trust me... I'm kind of a connoisseur.

Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Brownies
Adapted from Confessions of a Cookbook Queen

9x13 pan of brownies, baked and cooled
1/4 cup salted butter, softened
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
1 & 1/4 cups pretzel m&m's

Directions:

1. With an electric mixer, cream the butter and peanut butter until smooth, about 1 minute. Add the sugars, and continue creaming until light and fluffy, about 1 minute more. Add the milk and vanilla, and mix until smooth. Add the flour, and continue to mix at low speed until fully combined. Stir in the m&m's.

2. Spoon the cookie dough onto the cooled brownies and spread gently into an even layer. Slice into squares, and prepare for your life to change.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins with Cinnamon Crumb Topping

2011-03-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

I made muffins. With fruit in them.

And then I realized how out of place these muffins were going to feel in my recipe index next to the peanut butter cup cookies and the chewy brownies and the best chocolate chip cookies ever. How could they possibly compete? They'd be forced to hang out in the healthy section with the peanut butter and jelly muffins and the banana bread. Social suicide.

So I decided to help these muffins up their game a bit. I added some Ghirardelli milk chocolate chips (because we all know how far a little name-dropping can get you) and topped them off with a cinnamon brown sugar crumble. Accessories are a must.

If you think about it, it's just like the movie She's All That. Just think of me as Zack Siler's sister, and you'll see. Exactly the same.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins with Cinnamon Crumb Topping

Adapted from Chocolate & Tea and Bake or Break

For the muffins:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened and cubed

1 large egg

3 large bananas, mashed

3 tablespoons plain yogurt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 & 1/4 cups milk chocolate chips

For the crumb topping:

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin pan with paper liners.

2. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in a medium bowl.

3. In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugar together using an electric mixer. Add the egg, bananas, yogurt, and vanilla extract. Continue mixing with the electric mixer until fully combined. Using a spatula, fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, mixing just until incorporated. Stir in the chocolate chips.

4. Divide the batter among the muffins cups, filling each cup completely.

5. Prepare the crumb topping by stirring together the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt in a small bowl. Cut in the butter with a fork or pastry blender until the mixture forms large, moist clumps. Top each muffin with about 2 tablespoons of the mixture, lightly pressing it into the batter.

6. Bake the muffins for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center muffin comes out clean and the topping is golden brown.. Allow the muffins to cool for at least 30 minutes before serving. As you probably guessed, I tried to eat one right away. It was good, but not as good as the second one I tried 30 minutes later. For some reason, these have a strange texture when they first come out of the oven and need to sit for awhile to become achieve a "muffin-y" texture.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cup Cookies

2011-03-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, is that confusing? Let me break it down.

Start with peanut butter cookie dough. Hopefully you won't eat all of it before you get to step two. It was a close call for me.

The chocolate chips come next. Bonus points if you use miniature ones. You'll have the perfect amount of chocolate in every bite.

Here's where things take a turn for the best. You know how to scoop cookie dough into little balls and place them on baking sheets, right? Well, go ahead and do that with about half of the cookie dough. THEN. Then. A full-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (see also: crack) goes on top of each ball of dough.

Guess where the rest of the cookie dough goes?

After you're done contemplating the wisdom of eating one of these raw, put them in the oven. Just be warned that you're going to be dealing with this when they come out:

This recipe is supposed to make twelve cookies. I only ended up with eight, which quickly turned into six once they came out of the oven. So, let's not think about what that means for my hips.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cup Cookies
Adapted from Recipe Girl

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1 large egg
1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup miniature chocolate chips
8-12 full-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Place the butter and peanut butter in a medium bowl. Cream for about one minute with an electric hand mixer. Add the sugars, and cream about one minute more, scraping the bowl as needed. Add the egg, and continue mixing until light and fluffy, about thirty seconds.

3. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, and mix at low speed just until incorporated. Stir in the chocolate chips with a rubber spatula.

4. Scoop the dough into balls about one to two tablespoons in size. Place the dough on the baking sheets about three to four inches apart. Press each ball of dough down with a fork. Top each ball of dough with a peanut butter cup, then place another ball of dough on top of each peanut butter cup and press down with a fork. Shape the dough around the peanut butter cups, covering them as much as possible. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown and almost set.

Hostess Cupcakes

2011-03-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

The evidence is mounting that I may, in fact, still be 8 years old.

I pack my lunch for work in a children's lunch box. It's pink and green, and it has a matching water bottle that clips onto the side. There's even a space to write my name on the back. Be jealous, first graders.

Goldfish crackers, frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts, cinnamon graham crackers, peanut butter sandwiches, and kiddie protein bars are staples in my diet. Okay, maybe not the strawberry Pop-Tarts, but I do keep a box of them in my cupboard. You never know when the craving will strike.

I watch Boy Meets World every night during my workout, and Up, Toy Story 3, How to Train Your Dragon, and Despicable Me are some of the better movies I've seen recently.

Also, I don't like chocolate ganache.

There, I said it. My tastes are not sophisticated. I would rather have sweet, creamy milk chocolate than fancy dark chocolate.

I've been so excited to make these knock-off Hostess cupcakes ever since I first saw them on Bake at 350. And don't get me wrong, I think they're about 85% delicious. The cake and the marshmallow filling are iresistible. But the ganache is just dark enough that it shattered my hopes that these cupcakes would taste just like the ones I remember from when I was actually eight years old. You know, those delicious little pillows of enriched bleached wheat flour, high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated soybean oil? Delish.

So don't let my unrefined tastes deter you from trying this recipe. After all, they're super cute, and I'm sure real adults will love them, ganache and all.

Hostess Cupcakes
Adapted from Bake at 350

For the cake:

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/4 cups granulated sugar
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter, cubed
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs

For the filling:

1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons heavy cream
1 cup marshmallow creme

For the ganache:

6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

For the icing:

1/2 cup unsalted butter
2 tablespoons milk
2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

This recipe has quite a few components and steps involved, so I highly recommend measuring everything out ahead of time. Make the cupcakes first, and while they're baking and cooling, prepare the filling and the icing. Wait to make the ganache until you're actually ready to frost the cupcakes because the ganache will stiffen if it sits for too long.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake tin with paper liners.

2. Prepare the cupcakes. Bring the sugar and 1 cup of water to a boil in a saucepan, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Pour the warm sugar water into the bowl of an electric mixer. Add the chocolate and butter, and allow the chocolate to melt, stirring occasionally. Once the chocolate is completely melted and slightly cooled, stir in the vanilla.

3. Add the eggs one at a time with the mixer at medium speed. Once the eggs are incorporated, reduce the mixer to stir and add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Continue mixing on stir until all of the dry ingredients are incorporated, then increase the speed to medium and mix for about 30 seconds.

4. Fill each cupcake liner with approximately 1/4 cup of batter. Bake 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean. The cupcakes will look sunken in the middle, but they will puff up when the filling is added. Cool the cupcakes in the pans for about 15 minutes, then transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely.

5. For the filling, cream the butter for about 1 minute in an electric mixer at medium speed. Reduce the speed to stir, and add about half of the powdered sugar. Once most of the powdered sugar is incorporated, add the vanilla and 1 tablespoon heavy cream. Increase the speed to medium and beat until smooth. Reduce the speed to stir and alternately add the remaining powdered sugar and heavy cream. Increase the speed to medium and add the marshmallow creme, mixing for about 1 minute.

6. For the icing, cream the butter and vanilla for about 1 minute in an electric mixer at medium speed. Reduce the speed to stir, and add the powdered sugar. Mix until most of the powdered sugar is incorporated, then add the milk. Increase the speed to medium and mix for about 1 minute, or until smooth.

7. For the ganache, place the chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Heat the heavy cream and butter just until boiling, then pour the cream over the chocolate. Let the chocolate and cream stand for 3-5 minutes, then whisk until smooth. Stir in the vanilla, and allow to cool slightly.

8. To assemble: Spoon the filling into a pastry bag fitted with a star tip. Insert the tip into the center of each cupcake, and fill until the top of the cupcake puffs up a bit. Be careful not to overfill. Spoon about 1-2 tablespoons of ganache onto each cupcake and spread with a knife or the back of a spoon. Chill for about 10 minutes. Spoon the icing into a pastry bag fitted with a small round tip, and pipe onto the cupcakes to decorate.

Store in the refrigerator.

Cinna-Buns

2011-03-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

Are you aware of the existence of mall walkers?

You know--people who wake up early and go the mall to exercise before it opens? It's a real thing. And while I've never actually witnessed this phenomenon, I have to assume that these people wear nylon jumpsuits, neon sweatbands and New Balance tennis shoes. I'm also pretty sure that they have Pat Benatar and Def Leppard on their workout playlists.

Although I don't see myself ever partaking in this particular form of exercise, I actually have quite a bit of respect for mall walkers. I mean, just think how many times they must walk past Cinnabon. If I were a mall walker, I would walk past Cinnabon exactly zero times. Who cares if I came to the mall to exercise? Suddenly I can think of 53 reasons why I deserve to eat a cinnamon roll instead.

Since I'm not a mall walker, I skip the exercise altogether and move straight to the cinnamon rolls. I've made cinnamon rolls once before, but the recipe I followed this time promised a Cinnabon-esque result. And it did not disappoint. The intensity of the filling pairs perfectly with the sweet, creamy frosting, and the pastry almost seems to melt in your mouth.

The most difficult part of this recipe is waiting for the dough to rise, but I promise you the end result is worth the wait. Just know that you might end up eating two cinnamon rolls in one sitting, and if this happens multiple times, you might actually consider becoming a mall-walker to shed the extra pounds that will inevitably adhere themselves to your hips and thighs.

It's a vicious cycle.

Cinna-Buns
Adapted from King Arthur Flour

Dough:
8 ounces lukewarm milk
2 large eggs, room temperature
1/3 cup (2-5/8 ounces) unsalted butter, cubed
4-1/2 cups (19-1/2 ounces) all-purpose flour
1-3/4 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup (3-1/2 ounces) sugar
2-1/2 teaspoons instant yeast

Filling:
1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed
3 tablespoons ground cinnamon

Icing:
6 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
3 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Combine all of the dough ingredients in the bowl of an electric mixer, and mix on low with the paddle attachment until a cohesive dough forms. Switch to the dough hook, and knead the dough for 4-7 minutes at medium speed. Place the dough into a lightly oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise for 60 minutes, until it's nearly doubled in size. (My dough didn't rise much at this point, but the rolls still puffed up when they baked).

2. Transfer the dough to a lightly greased work surface, and roll it into a 16 by 21-inch rectangle. Spread the butter evenly over the dough. Combine the cinnamon and brown sugar, and sprinkle the mixture evenly over the dough. Lightly press the mixture into the dough with your fingertips.

3. Starting with one of the short ends of the rectangle, roll the dough into a log as tightly as possible. Cut the log into 12 slices with a sharp knife. Arrange the slices in a lightly greased 9 by 13-inch baking dish. Cover the rolls with plastic wrap and allow to rise for about 30 minutes. (Again, my rolls didn't rise much during this step).

4. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees, and bake the rolls for 15-17 minutes or until golden brown. While the rolls are baking, prepare the icing. Cream the butter and cream cheese for about 1 minute in an electric mixer at medium speed. Add the vanilla and beat 30 seconds more. Reduce the speed to low and gradually add the powdered sugar. Once all of the sugar is incorporated, increase the speed to medium and beat 1-2 minutes.

5. Spread the icing on the cinnamon rolls while they are still warm, and serve immediately.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

It turns out that Valentine's Day is a pretty big deal in the cupcake world. And when Valentine's Day falls on a Monday, the weekend before Valentine's Day becomes a pretty big deal too.

People demand cupcakes, and for those of us that have a part in supplying them, it's all pretty exhausting.

Which is why I had to keep it simple this week. And the simplest, most eye-rollingly (it's totally a word) delicious thing I could think of was sugar cookie bars. Minimum effort, maximum reward.

Plus, if you cut them into hearts, you can hand them out as valentines and make all of your coworkers love you. Of course, you'll have some scraps leftover that you'll need to find a good use for, but I'll leave that part up to you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Coconut Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

2011-02-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

My dad's birthday was this week, and if you ask me, there's no better way to wish someone a happy birthday than by giving the gift of butter and sugar. Throw in some coconut, and you run the risk of having your family members glare at you for one-upping their gifts.

Ina Garten may not have been much help with my Peanut Butter Surprise Cookies, but she does know a thing or two about coconut cupcakes. Let's be honest, I usually only make cake so that I have something to put frosting on, and if it ever becomes socially acceptable to eat frosting with a spoon, I may never bake a cake again.

Unless it's this cake. This cake is life-changing. In fact, a good portion of the batter never reached its full potential because I couldn't stop "tasting" it.

Just kidding. I never do that. Gross.

I did, however, eat one as soon as it came out of the oven. It was warm and vanilla-y and almond-y and coconut-y. A-mazing. Even more a-mazing than the cream cheese frosting that came later, which tells me two things: 1) This cake is really something special, and 2) I'm becoming a frosting snob.

It was bound to happen eventually.

Coconut Cupcakes
Adapted from Ina Garten

For the cupcakes:

1-1/2 cups unsalted butter, softened
2 cups sugar
5 large eggs, at room temperature
1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1-1/2 teaspoons almond extract
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
14 ounces sweetened, shredded coconut

For the frosting:

16 ounces cream cheese
1-1/2 cups butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
24 ounces powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In an electric mixer at medium speed, cream the butter for about 1 minute. Add the sugar, and continue creaming until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.

2. Reduce the mixer to low speed. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well and scraping the sides of the bowl after each one. Add the vanilla and almond extracts and mix well.

3. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl. Alternately add the dry ingredients and the buttermilk to the butter mixture, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Fold in half of the coconut with a spatula.

4. Line a cupcake pan with paper liners, and divide the batter evenly between the cups. Bake for 25-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 15 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

5. To make the frosting, cream the cream cheese and butter in an electric mixer at medium speed for about 2 minutes. Add the vanilla and almond extracts, and cream for 1 minute more. Reduce the mixer to low speed, and gradually add the powdered sugar until fully incorporated. Increase the mixer to medium speed, and beat for 2 minutes.

6. Once the cupcakes have cooled, frost as desired and top with the remaining coconut.

Peanut Butter Surprise Cookies

2011-02-03T12:57:00.000-08:00

I usually skip the whole mise en place step. Which is weird, because mise en place is very much my style. Measuring out the ingredients ahead of time, setting them aside in little glass bowls, having everything ready to go in the mixer at just the right moment. It's so organized.

So today I took the time for mise en place, and I was totally channeling Ina Garten. I pictured myself standing in some ridiculous kitchen in the Hamptons, saying "half a cup of good peanut butter" all matter-of-factly as I add it to the bowl, and then being awkwardly silent so that the only sound is the ambient noise of the mixer running while the (imaginary) cameraman gets an extreme close up of the peanut butter.

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Everything was going great. These cookies are super easy to make, and with this whole mise en place thing, they practically make themselves.

But then I started unwrapping the Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts, and my Ina Garten fantasy was instantly shattered. Last year when I made these, the hearts I used were incredibly cute and perfectly sized for these cookies. These hearts not only look more like bunny ears than hearts, but also they're gigantic. I guess this is the surprise part?

At this point the cookies were in the oven, so there was no turning back. Instead of cookies with peanut butter hearts in the center, I was now going to have peanut butter "hearts" (note the appropriate use of quotation marks) with cookie around the edges.

And although these didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped they would, the great thing about a baking disaster is that you usually have something to comfort you as you wallow in your disappointment. Like chocolate and peanut butter.

And let's be honest... oversized, misshapen peanut butter cups surrounded by peanut butter cookies are not actually a disaster.

Peanut Butter Surprise Cookies
Adapted from Martha Stewart

1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup granulated sugar
20-30 miniature peanut butter cups

1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Cream peanut butter and butter in an electric mixer at medium speed for about 1 minute. Add the brown sugar, and beat until combined. Add the eggs and vanilla, and continue to mix until incorporated.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Reduce the mixer speed to low and gradually add the flour. Mix just until incorporated.

3. Scoop the dough into portions of about 1-2 tablespoons and roll each portion into a ball. Place the granulated sugar in a small bowl, and roll each ball of dough in the sugar, coating completely. Place the balls about 2 inches apart on a baking sheet.

4. Bake about 7 minutes, or until the cookies begin to puff up slightly. While the cookies are baking, unwrap the peanut butter cups if you haven't already. Remove the cookies from the oven and press one peanut butter cup into the center of each cookie.

5. Return the cookies to the oven and bake about 6 minutes more, or until the cookies are golden brown and the chocolate has begun to melt. Cool on the baking sheet about 10 minutes before transferring toa wire rack to cool completely.

Note: I meant to put the peanut butter hearts onto the cookies upside down so that the tops of the cookies would be flat, but I was so preoccupied with how ugly they were that I completely forgot. I also noticed that Martha's directions say to chill the peanut butter cups ahead of time, which would have been a great idea since mine got pretty melty. Just know that no matter what you do, these cookies are going to be delicious.